You're Supposed to Hate Me
by iminlovewithaboynamedJESS
Summary: R/J. Set after Say Goodnight Gracie (3.20). Jess leaves Star Hollow. Rory is devastated. When an accident occurs, how will things change?? Literati. A little bit of Java Junkie.
1. On the Edge

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
Ch1- On the Edge  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Gilmore Girls. If I did, I wouldn't scream at the TV so often.  
  
Summary: Jess leaves. Rory is upset. An accident. What happens next?  
  
Rating: Just language for now. PG13. May go up later if something happens.  
  
***  
  
Luke: That's it?  
  
Jess: Yeah  
  
Luke: Then you gotta go  
  
***  
  
After his fight with Luke, he couldn't take it. He had to get away. He grabbed his coat and walked out into the night. He didn't know where he was going. Not consciously at least. When he looked up, he wasn't at all surprised. He just plopped himself down on the wood planks and dangled his feet just above the water. Just sat there, staring at the reflection of the moon on the rippling water. He did everything he could to block out his thoughts.  
  
He was supposed to be strong. That was his thing. Thinking about the past few weeks made him upset. Jess Mariano was not allowed to be upset, nothing ever got to him. So he pulled out his latest book. Well, latest wasn't exactly the word- he's read it three times already. He opened up to his marked page, and began to read. "During the following week he confided in Chad King.," Jess' eyes kept moving, back and forth along the page, with none of the words registering in his brain. By the time he had gotten to the bottom of the page, he had already given up. He never thought there would be a time when he couldn't read, especially Jack Kerouac. So he just held the book open in front of him, as more of a calming method than intellectual study. Eventually, his mind began to wander.  
  
To his first day in Stars Hollow  
  
To the picnic with Rory  
  
To the accident  
  
He sees his return to New York, when he walked in to find an unconscious Liz on her bed, syringes lying on the floor as usual. He smiled at the memory of Rory's visit to New York, and their conversations in the park. God that girl was always surprising him. Like at Sookie's wedding, their first kiss. She had really hurt him after that, by ignoring him and heading off to Washington without telling him. When she came back, she stayed with Dean. The thought of that guy made him so mad.  
  
But then he remembered that HE had Rory, that Jess Mariano finally got the girl. He laughed at that. In his old life, he ALWAYS had the girl. There was never any trouble with that. But then again, all of his old girlfriends had meant nothing to him. They were all slutty, blond, and about as intelligent as an ox. Rory-- well Rory was different. Smart, funny, absolutely gorgeous. She saw the real him, she gave him a chance. Despite opposite pasts and completely different personalities, they had everything in common. They loved reading, having intelligent conversations, and could spend hours in each others' company without ever saying a word.  
  
For a long time, Jess had resented his mother, Luke, Stars Hollow, everything and everyone. He felt that they had ruined his life. Screwed everything up. Now he knew how wrong he had been. Those people, they hadn't screwed anything up. In fact, they had made things better for a while. Now he knew that he screwed himself up. Drinking, skipping school, stealing. He was sent here, nothing changed. When he met Rory, he made up for his mistakes for a few months. Until now, that is. Maybe he hadn't really changed. He had to go and ruin everything that was just getting to be perfect in his life. He started dating Rory, he was even sweet for a while. Then the old Jess kicked back in. He had a reputation to uphold. So he didn't always call, made dates that he didn't keep, and just made an ass out of himself in general.  
  
Rory was perfect. She did everything that she could to keep them going. He couldn't believe what he had done. He lied to her- he skipped school to keep some dumbass minimum wage job. He treated her like all the others, she didn't deserve it. She had always told him that he could go far, he was smart, he just needed to apply himself. And he didn't listen, in fact he did just the opposite. Now. well, now what could he do? He didn't want to disappoint her, he would do anything to look good in her eyes. But it was too late. She would find out soon enough. He failed out, in his senior year no less. He couldn't take her to the prom, like he had promised. He would let her down. And now, he had to leave. There was no choice. He didn't want to leave, he didn't want to lose everything he had worked hard for. But he had run out of time.  
  
She didn't deserve to have an asshole boyfriend like him anyway. Then he decided. He was going to leave, he would be the biggest ass she had ever met. She would be angry, she would realize that she had been wrong about him the whole time. It would be easier for her to move on and find another Dean, someone who was stable, who would be there for her all the time. He only wished that his would be easier for him too, he wished so badly that he wasn't in love with her. He figured that one broken heart would be better than two. So what if he smothered her, she would be safe, happy again. All he wanted was to see her happy. With that decided, he refolded his page, stuck the book in his back pocket, and headed back to the apartment. 


	2. Too Much

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch2- Too much  
  
*Ewww. Way too early to wake up in the morning!*  
  
Rory looks over at her clock. 7:43  
  
*Oh crap oh crap*  
  
She hurries to get ready, throwing her socks on as she hops into the kitchen for coffee. Her mom is already at the Inn. She runs to the door for her backpack, when she notices the calendar. Monday- school starts at 9, first class cancelled.  
  
*that explains the alarm*  
  
Rory heads back to her room for the rest of her things, realizing she has time to relax. Remembering her calculus test, she starts digging through her desk drawer for a calculator. Still searching, she pulls out all the contents of her desk. Among the pile she finds a photo Lane had taken for a photography class. Rory is leaning in Jess' arms on the bridge. Both are oblivious to Lane's presence, intensely reading some unknown book. She takes the picture and sits down on her bed. She smiles a little, remembering the day. A week after they started going out- they were so pre- occupied with each other. They had never really gotten over that. Rory thinks about the past few weeks and notes that Jess is still as excited as ever to see her. She knows he tries to hide it, but she can still tell. *he has been acting differently lately* She tries to overlook this rogue thought, but it keeps coming back. She knows something is wrong, he never used to be so inconsiderate to her. She just couldn't understand why he wouldn't talk to her, he knew that she would always listen, no matter what. She knew she needed to talk to him, but she wasn't sure how to make up with him after their fight. Putting the picture down, she sighs.  
  
*Time for school* Taking her cup of coffee, she heads for the bus.  
  
***  
  
He woke up early. Early for him. He grabs his bag, already packed, and heads out the door, down the stairs. Luke follows Jess with his eyes, but doesn't make any effort to stop him. They had a deal, and Jess can understand this. So he keeps walking. He knows he should have left earlier, now the whole town will see him leave. *as long as she doesn't see me* So he continues on, knowing that the good news will have spread into Hartford within the hour. The bus is already at the stop when he gets there, so he climbs on and takes a seat in the back. The bus doesn't move for a while, so he picks up On The Road, again, and starts to read. As the bus slowly moves forward, he looks around. And that's when he sees her, staring at him.  
  
*Shit. She's not supposed to be here, she can't talk to me now*  
  
But sure enough, Rory walks towards the back of the bus.  
  
Rory: "Hey"  
  
Jess: "Hey"  
  
R: "Can I sit?"  
  
J: "Sure. Sit." Jess looks around uncomfortably. *This one bus ride was supposed to make things easier*  
  
J: "Thought you took an earlier bus"  
  
R: "My first class got cancelled today"  
  
There is an awkward pause between the two.  
  
J: "So what's been going on?"  
  
R: "Nothing Much. Fran died."  
  
J: "I heard"  
  
R: "I went to her funeral yesterday"  
  
J: "Luke went too"  
  
R: "I saw him there"  
  
J: "Yeah?"  
  
R: "He was in the back"  
  
*I have to tell her something. I can't just leave her here knowing nothing*  
  
J: "I can't go to the prom- couldn't get tickets"  
  
R: "Oh"  
  
Rory looks up at him for the first time during their conversation, and only for a second. But in that time Jess saw an emotion in her eyes which he had seen a few times during the past weeks. He told himself that he was losing his touch because he couldn't read that emotion, but he was just lying to himself. Deep down he knew exactly what this emotion was, he just didn't want to believe it. What he saw in those two turquoise eyes was pain.  
  
J: "sorry"  
  
R: looking out the window. "This is my stop"  
  
J: "okay"  
  
R: "so you'll call me?"  
  
J: *oh God! This hurts too much* "Yeah, I'll call you"  
  
Jess watches her walk out the door and down the street. The door slowly closes. He begins to replay their conversation in his head, and begins to have second thoughts. *Suck it up Mariano* As he reaches for his bag, he mutters to himself "I'm sorry Ror. I love you too much to stay"  
  
AN: I apologize for the abundant use of quotes from the show. I swear I'm going off on my own after this chapter. For the most part at least. You can still expect to see Jess in California, and the appearance of all the usual characters, but the plot and dialogue will be all my own. Thanks for reading!! 


	3. Unused Tissues

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch3- Unused Tissues  
  
AN: Thanks to everyone for reading. This is more of an explanation chapter. More rewarding chapters to follow.  
  
**  
  
On Tuesday morning (the next day), Lorelai woke up early with an acute need for her caffeine fix. After getting dressed, she hopped down the stairs while struggling with her shoes. Going into Rory's room, she found her daughter curled up in a ball on her bed, fast asleep.  
  
Yesterday, Rory had come to the Inn, and had told Lorelai all about the conversation with Jess. She knew that Rory was angry and upset, and decided to just let her sleep while she, being the great mom that she is, went to get coffee from Luke's. On her way, she planned the attack. First the whining, and if that didn't work, name-calling usually did the trick. If not, pulling a guilt trip would certainly score her at least 3 cups.  
  
She was already screaming his name before she even opened the door to the diner.  
  
Lorelai: "LUUUUUKKKKEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Luke looks up at the unwanted disruption, but says nothing. Lorelai catches his eyes, for only a second, and is immediately quiet. She knows that he is normally grumpy in the morning, but this is different. Not just cranky but genuinely upset. She takes a seat at the counter across from where he is standing. He places a cup of coffee in front of her without protest.  
  
Lor: "Luke, what's going on?"  
  
Luke: "Don't want to talk about it"  
  
L: "You can't do that to me. Don't you realize that I can just walk out this door and ask anyone on the street. Nothing happens in this town without everyone else knowing, so you may as well tell me."  
  
Luke: "If everyone here knows everything, then how come you don't know yet?"  
  
L: "You know better than anyone that I am not fully awake until I have my coffee in the morning. Even if someone had told me something on my thirty second walk here, I wouldn't have understood it anyway."  
  
Luke: "True. What was I thinking?"  
  
L: "Right. So what's wrong?"  
  
Luke (walking her towards the storage room): "Jess. He's gone."  
  
L: "What do you mean? He went back to New York to visit Liz?"  
  
Luke: "No, I mean he's gone. For good."  
  
L: "But he was just here."  
  
Luke: "Yeah well he just failed out of school. I told him he could stay just one more year and graduate, but he didn't. He just took off. Sometime early yesterday."  
  
L: "Oh my god. I can't believe he would do that. I never liked that kid. Not for one second. But I truly believed that he had feelings for Rory. Augh!!! The nerve of that kid to just leave her behind. OH--- RORY! How am I going to explain this to her??  
  
Luke: "He didn't tell her? That bastard. I thought he--- well he said that. oh."  
  
L: "oh? Oh what?"  
  
Luke: "He didn't want to see her disappointed with him"  
  
L: "so the dick just leaves her behind so that he doesn't have to see her cry? Like this situation won't make her cry more??"  
  
Luke: "I don't know. If you want, I can tell Rory. You know, make things easier on you."  
  
L: "No. No, I've got to tell her this myself. She'll need a friend there to comfort her. Well, I should head out."  
  
Luke: "Yeah. Tell Rory I'm sorry."  
  
L: "Thanks." (starts walking towards door, then turns around) "Hey Luke"  
  
Luke: "Yeah?"  
  
L: "Don't worry about this. You did great for him. He just couldn't do good for himself."  
  
Luke watches as Lorelai walks past the windows, back towards the Gilmore residence.  
  
****  
  
L: "Luke said that he left yesterday. Doesn't think that Jess is coming back."  
  
Rory: "okay"  
  
The mother-daughter pair is sitting in the Gilmore living room. Lorelai brought a box of tissues, which are sitting on the coffee table.  
  
L: "Is that all you have to say? Are you upset?"  
  
R (ignoring the questions): "He tried to explain it, I guess. The only problem was that the explanation was done in typical Jess fashion."  
  
L: "Honey, he was a jerk. He did a good job of hiding it for a while, but this just proves that he never really changed."  
  
R: "I guess. I don't know. I think I'm going to just go out for a little while."  
  
L: "Wait! Rory, where are you going?"  
  
R: "Out"  
  
As Rory walks out the door, Lorelai is distinctly heard mumbling something about "bad influence". Choosing to ignore the comment, Rory keeps walking. She knows where she's headed, the only place she could ever really think. When she got to the bridge, she looked around- at the water, the woods, everything. And suddenly she knew why she had come, why she had been drawn to this place. This was the place where she first realized that she was in love with him. The man who had just deserted her. And for the first time in weeks, she begins to cry. Silently, of course. Her tears just drop quickly into the calm water, barely causing ripples. And then she began to run all the way back to town.  
  
She stops in front of Luke's, which is busy with the lunch-time rush. She glances to the back of the diner, thinking about how she will never need to sneak up the stairs when Luke isn't looking. She noticed that she had stopped crying somewhere along her run. She thinks about Jess. She didn't feel the need to cry. She had happy memories of Jess, and that made her happy. But she couldn't help being hurt, and she realizes that she has lost the love of her life. So she takes one quick glance at the apartment above the diner, then walks home. She decided that she wouldn't cry again over Jess- that it was over. So, from the moment she stepped foot through her front door that day, she tried to block out all feelings for Jess, even though she knew it would never be possible. 


	4. Back Home

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch4- Back Home  
  
It is now two weeks since Jess left Stars Hollow. No one has heard from him, and most of the town has forgotten all about him. Taylor is happy to get back to his normal life, now at ease with the single town troublemaker now gone for good. Luke, however, is slightly worried. He knew all along that Jess would be better off, safer even, if he stayed in Stars Hollow with Luke. And now he knew that he should have made an effort to keep him around. But hindsight's 20-20, and what's done is done.  
  
Lorelai had told him that Rory had made a pact to herself. She promised she would not cry over Jess. Luke saw the effects of this pact with Lorelai's solo trips to pick up several cups of coffee- to go. He watched every morning though the diner windows as Rory took an extra few minutes on the way to her bus, just to avoid any places around Stars Hollow which would make her think of Jess. He had also noticed how quiet she had been, avoiding conversation if at all possible. The sullen attitude had also apparently rubbed off onto Lorelai, because she only came in, asked calmly for her coffee, and left. No annoying banter, no high-pitched squeals. He hated to admit it, but he missed all of that. He missed having a friend around the place. All of a sudden, within two weeks, he had lost three friends.  
  
**  
  
She hated acting this way. She wanted so badly to talk to her mom again, like they used to. She just couldn't seem to get out of this funk. Rory refused to acknowledge the cause of her depression, she only locked it away in her mind with all of her happiness. She was thinking about her relationship with her mom on the way to the bus stop. It was a longer walk now, and gave her more time to think. She wished that she didn't have to think, but the thoughts still flooded into her mind. Caught up in anger and sadness, she didn't notice as she approached a figure. She turned the corner at Doose's and bumped right into the person who was apparently waiting for her.  
  
R: "Oh sorry." (she looks up) "Hi Miss Patty"  
  
Patty: "Rory Darling. I was hoping to run into you. Not literally of course, but its funny how things turn out!"  
  
R (not wanting to walk): "Oh. Yeah, funny."  
  
P: "Honey, I just wanted to see how you're doing. We haven't seen you around town in a while."  
  
This was exactly what Rory was trying to avoid. Well, town gossip was only secondary to memories of Jess, but still. *Fuck. Now what am I supposed to say?*  
  
R: "Yeah. Well I've been busy with graduation planning and stuff for Chilton."  
  
P: "Well that makes sense. I'm glad you're not upset about Jess. That punk was never worth your time. But he WAS cute, I'll give him that much."  
  
R (angry about the mention of Jess): "well thanks for the insight Miss Patty. I have to go catch my bus."  
  
P: "Any time sweetie. Hope I see you around"  
  
Rory gets to the bus stop just in time to climb on the bus. For the thirty minute ride, she seethed in anger. *Why don't they just leave me alone? Cant they see that I don't want to talk to them, especially not about Jess* But she knew that she wasn't only angry because they brought Jess back to the front of her mind. She was angry because everyone loved her, she was their princess, and they hated Jess. She didn't hate Jess, and he had left her. What gave the town, Miss Patty, her mom, the right to hate him?  
  
Stepping off the bus, her anger was forgotten, as was the thoughts of Jess. She was assaulted at the front door by a frantic Paris, who was screaming something about having forgotten to do the last homework problem for calculus. On the inside Rory laughed. Being a second semester senior, Rory had stopped doing her homework weeks ago. Two weeks ago to be exact. Of course, it had nothing to do with Jess. She attributed it only to the fact that she was enrolled at Yale, and they weren't going to kick her out because she stopped doing homework. It wasn't like she was failing.  
  
**  
  
He had arrived in California after four straight days on a Greyhound. He found his dad, a dad who was not particularly pleased to have him around. But he was here now, more than three thousand miles away from his past. That was all that mattered. He could start over here, get a job and move on. Well maybe not move on exactly, but that was his goal at least.  
  
Every day he had picked up his phone, with every intention of calling Rory, letting her know where he was, that he didn't mean to hurt her, that he loved her. Somehow he could never go through with it. He wanted to go on believing that his plan had worked, that she wasn't upset, and that she was getting on with her life. But the look in her eyes on the bus that day told him that he was dreaming. And that is why he never called.  
  
Today, well today was going to be different. Early this morning he had woken up with a strange feeling, a feeling of connection with Rory. He looked at the clock, and knew that it was near the time that she would be heading to school. His watch was still set to the time back home. Home. Stars Hollow was still his home, would probably always be his home, he just couldn't go back. But that feeling told him that something had changed, and he knew that it was time to call.  
  
He headed out to the beach, promising himself to call Rory when she would get home from school. He knew that he wouldn't break this promise. So he took out his new surf board and hurried across the hot sand to the water. Since he had gotten here, he had spent his time wisely- every day going out and teaching himself to surf. And he liked to think that he had gotten good in the week and a half that he had been in Venice Beach. He knew that the guys on the beach laughed when he fell of his board, but he was still proud.  
  
When he got back to Jimmy's apartment it was 4 o'clock back home. He picked up the phone and hesitated for a minute, then dialed a familiar number. The phone rang a few times, and then someone picked up.  
  
J: "Hey" 


	5. Just in Denial

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch5- Just in Denial  
  
AN: Sorry for the shorter chapters, I was just getting into the story. From now on the chapters should be longer, mostly because I'm on a writing high. Hah. Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing, you make me so happy! I'm sorry if you don't like Jess, or the way I portray him, but I'm glad you're still reading!! I promise you a big reward if you stick with me for a few more days.  
  
**  
  
When Jess got back to Jimmy's apartment it was 4 o'clock back home. He picked up the phone and hesitated for a minute, then dialed a familiar number. The phone rang a few times, and then someone picked up.  
  
J: "Hey"  
  
Rory's heart skipped a beat. After two weeks, she had convinced herself that she would never hear that voice again. But she was still upset. For all she knew, he could be in Antarctica. She knew she needed to play it cool, find out the details.  
  
R: "Who is this?"  
  
Jess took in a sharp breath. Well, this is what he had wanted. He wanted her to hate him, to get past him quickly. He just never wanted to hear her act coldly towards him. Well, he was getting what he deserved.  
  
J: "Ror- It's me. It's Jess"  
  
R: "Oh. Hey."  
  
J: "How are you?"  
  
R: "Same old, same old. Nothing new."  
  
She wanted to rub it in, make it look like she was moving on. She knew he wanted to hear that she was upset, crying for weeks over the love of her life. But she wasn't going to give in so easily.  
  
J: "Well, uh, that's good to hear. Listen, I can't talk long, this is long distance and jimmy will kill me if I rack up the bill."  
  
R: "Yeah okay. So you're staying with your dad, huh?"  
  
J: "yeah, I really like California."  
  
R: "Can you give me your number? I know that, uh, Luke would really like to talk with you. He misses you."  
  
J: "I doubt that. But sure, I'll give it to you."  
  
He gives her the number to the apartment, wishing with all his heart that she never calls him. He can't have her call him and catch him off guard. He knows that if this happens, he wont be able to stay away.  
  
R: "Thanks. He'll be glad to know you're safe."  
  
J: "Yeah. Okay, well I'd better go."  
  
R: "Jess- one more thing."  
  
J: "yeah?"  
  
R: "Why'd you leave me?"  
  
He's been caught off guard. He didn't know what to say, so he stuck with the basic truth that was no doubt already spread throughout Stars Hollow.  
  
J: "I failed Rory. Luke kicked me out."  
  
R: "Bullshit Jess! You've never been one for excuses, why start now?"  
  
She knew he was avoiding telling her something. She put the phone down on the table but didn't hang up. On the other end, Jess hears the phone go down and thinks that Rory hung up on him. He loses control, and starts thinking out loud to himself.  
  
J: "Rory!"  
  
Rory picks up the phone again, but says nothing. He thinks that no one is listening, but continues to talk just to calm himself down.  
  
J: "Damnit Rory. Oh God, what did I do?? I just didn't want you to get hurt, to be disappointed in me. But you'll be better off when I'm not around anymore. But just know that I'm sorry."  
  
A silent tear rolls down her cheek, when she finds out why he left. He was frustrated with himself, he didn't want her to know what had happened. He didn't want to see her stop loving him because he had failed.  
  
R: "Me too."  
  
She quickly hung up, not wanting to hear any more. Jess was stunned at what he had just heard. He had just opened up his heart, because no one was listening. But someone was listening, and Rory was the last person he wanted to hear his little speach. At least he hadn't gotten the chance to say what was really on his mind-that he loved her, and that missed her. He knew that if she had heard those words, all hope for Rory letting go would be gone. And he needed her to move on, only because he loved her. Now he understood what people meant when they said that you only want what's best for the person that you love. All he wanted was for her to be happy, and she had no chance of being happy with a loser like him.  
  
He wished so badly that he could go back to Stars Hollow, apologize to Rory, make up with Luke, and make everything go back to the way it had been. But he had made too many mistakes, his leaving was unforgivable to most people. He just hoped that at some point she could forget about how much one man had screwed everything up.  
  
**  
  
Rory got off the phone, completely in shock. She wasn't supposed to have heard that. She knew that he wanted her to move on, because he wasn't going to come back. It hurt to admit this to herself. But it also felt good, because she finally brought herself out of denial. He didn't hate her, she even thought he still loved her. But he wasn't ever coming back. She didn't know if she could ever get over this. She wished that he wasn't so stubborn and that he would just come back. Wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere.  
  
Still in a daze, she headed into the kitchen, where she found her mom attempting to make coffee. Lorelai notices the sad look on Rory's face.  
  
L: "Rory, we need to talk."  
  
R: "Okay"  
  
L: "I know that you've been upset recently. I just want to let you know that I am always here for you, whenever you need to talk."  
  
R: "Yeah. I know I haven't been talking to you as much as I should, but this has been rough and I didn't think that talking about it would make me feel better. So I just bottled all of my feelings up inside."  
  
L: "So you feel like talking now?"  
  
R: "I dunno. I just got off the phone with Jess."  
  
L: "What? He called?"  
  
R: "Yeah. He's in California."  
  
L: "Wow. That ass didn't waste anytime, now did he?"  
  
R: "What?"  
  
L: "Yeah. He leaves you here, and takes off across the country to forget all about you."  
  
R: "Hah. Thanks for the heart-to-heart mom. I'm feeling SO much better NOW."  
  
L: "Rory, I'm sorry. But he treated you like dirt. He was never good enough for you, but you just never saw that."  
  
R: "What is with this town and picking on Jess?? Honestly, he did nothing wrong. He was nothing but good to me, but everyone just hated him from the beginning. So he wasn't the typical boyfriend, calling every night to talk about school and stuff. But he was there for me."  
  
L: "Yeah? Than why'd he leave?"  
  
R: "He had no choice. Luke kicked him out. There was no way he'd go through another year in this town, going to Stars Hollow High. And right now I'm beginning to see why he hated this town so much."  
  
L: "Look sweets- you're just in denial right now. Soon enough you will have moved on and forgotten all about him."  
  
R: "I may move on at some point, but I will never forget him."  
  
L: " You'll change your mind."  
  
R: "No mom I wont"  
  
At that Rory jumps up from the couch and heads into her room. She knew what she had to do. She grabbed her purse off her bed, and packed an overnight bag with some clothes and necessities. Bag in hand, she ran towards the door and grabbed the keys to the Jeep. She knew that this was stupid, and that this was the second time she would skip school for the same boy. But she had no choice.  
  
L: "Where are you going??????"  
  
R: "I just need to get away from here for a little while. Clear my mind. I'm bringing my phone, I'll keep in touch."  
  
L: "Okay, but why do you have a bag with you?"  
  
R: "I might be gone for a few days. I'll need the Jeep."  
  
L: "I don't want you out there all by yourself. I'll be lonely here!"  
  
R: "I'll be fine. I have cash and the emergency credit card. You can call me every ten minutes if you want. But this is something I need to do."  
  
And she walked out the door, threw her stuff into the back seat, and started the car. She slowly backed out of the driveway, focused on her goal. She had no idea where she was going, or how she was going to get there. All she knew was that it was going to work out. 


	6. Tripped Over the Couch

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch6- Tripped Over the Couch  
  
AN: By far the longest chapter. I still haven't gotten to the good stuff yet. Hehe, I love this. And I love all of you, for reading and reviewing and making my world a better place. WOW. Okay well keep up the good work, and I'll just keep writing.  
  
**  
  
She had driven straight to Luke's, where she filled up on coffee. As she was paying, she quietly told him her plan. She didn't really want anyone to know what she was doing, or where she was going, but he was the only one who understood, the only one in the whole crazy town who could help her out.  
  
Rory: "Luke, I need to tell you something, and you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even my mom. No one can know."  
  
Luke: "Okay Rory, I'll try. As long as you're not going to get yourself killed in the process."  
  
R: "Okay, well I'll do my best. Okay, here goes. I'm going to find Jess."  
  
Luke: "What?? NO! Rory, you can't drive across country by yourself. You can't do that, especially not for him. He only just left a few weeks ago. Give it time, and the wound will heal."  
  
R: "Maybe. But somehow, I don't think it will. I need to find him, to find out what went wrong, to try to make things better. I don't expect anything to come out of this, I think I just need some closure, and maybe to figure out if our relationship could have EVER worked.  
  
Luke: "I really don't like this idea Rory. You've already been hurt once. You know how Jess is. Once his mind is made up, he won't budge. Think about how long he waited for you. I think you should stay here. He may come back at some point anyway."  
  
R: "He wouldn't have waited so long for me to just leave to suddenly. He was disappointed in himself. And like you said, he's stubborn. He will not come back on his own. He's gonna need some help. That's where I come in."  
  
Luke: "He's no good for you, Rory. He's not worth this. Look, I know you love him. He's like a son to me. I would never do anything to hurt him. But I feel the same way about you. And your little trip out to California will only hurt you both."  
  
R: "Thanks for the advice Luke, but this is just something that has to be done. Now it's okay if you don't think that I should go, even if you forbid me to go. Because I'm going. All I ask is one small favor."  
  
Luke: "I'll help if I can. What do you need?"  
  
R: "His address."  
  
She knew that Jess would call Luke after the guilt trip she pulled on him while she was on the phone. That was her plan. She had gotten everything she needed with only Luke knowing the details. Jess could have no idea she was coming. She needed that element of surprise. She hopped back in the Jeep, and dug through the glove compartment until she found her handy-dandy map, the new one that her mom had bought after the Harvard trip. It was a much better map. In fact, it was more of an atlas, which had detailed maps of each state, as well as a wide map of the whole country.  
  
Methodically, she plotted her trip. According to her calculations, it was 2900 miles or so to Venice, California. Which meant nearly fifty hours of driving. Even if she drove 15 or 16 hours each day before going to a motel for the night, it would take her at least three days to get out there. She would have to find three hotels along the way, but she figured that she could find them as she went. She had enough money to get there and back, no problem. As she was finally getting ready to leave, she panicked. What if this didn't work out?  
  
**  
  
It had now been three hours, and Rory noticed that the Jeep was running low on gas. She was already kind of lost, but she relied on her inherent navigational skills, which were just like Lorelai's, to find a gas station. So naturally, she got even more lost. She knew that she had left Connecticut about an hour and a half ago, and she was now driving through upstate New York. She looked at the map. She was currently on Rt. I-84, and knew that she had to get on I-81 in Wilkes-Barre. Seeing a sign for Scranton, she decided to get off there, because it was a fairly large town in a relatively uninhabited area. But getting off, she didn't get on the right road towards Scranton. Instead she drove down a narrow country road until she came to a sign which read:  
  
"Huxley, NY.  
  
Pop. 759"  
  
*Great. I'm lost in Hicksville NY. Well, at least there should be a gas station somewhere nearby. * So she drove through a town which reminded her slightly of Stars Hollow, without all the cutesy aspects like porcelain unicorn stores and old fashioned soda shoppes. Instead she found auto repair shops and liquor stores. And then, when she was beginning to get discouraged, Rory found a gas station. Not like the gas stations in Hartford with all the fancy electronics, this one just had the pumps, with scrolling numbers for the price. The customers had to go inside to pay. She finally figured out how to work the old-fashioned pumps, and paid for her gas. As she was walking back to her car, she saw a figure in the shadows behind the store. All she could see was the burning end of his cigarette.  
  
For a moment, Rory could think only of running over to this man, and throwing her arms around him. But, she knew that it wasn't Jess. He couldn't have driven all this way since she had talked to him that afternoon. She knew that even if he were heading home, he wouldn't have ended up having a smoke at a gas station in Huxley, New York of all places. And finally, she knew that he wasn't coming back. When that realization hit her, she felt like crying. She wanted him to come home, but she knew at the bottom of her heart, that nothing she would say could make him come home.  
  
She got in her car, deciding to go back home. Home. Where Lorelai was waiting to lecture her on the perils of falling for the bad boy and getting hurt. She couldn't go home, she had to see Jess. Even if he didn't want to see her. She wasn't going to give him a choice. So instead of getting on the highway going back towards Connecticut, she got back on in the direction she had been going. It was only 7:30, and she figured she could get at least a few more hours of driving in before she would need to sleep. So she picked up her pace and turned on the radio. Flipping through the stations, the only music she found was too depressing, the songs all reminded her of Jess. Why she couldn't be reminded of him when she was driving 3000 miles to see him, no one will ever know. So she settled for a news station, and she figured that she could keep up with her current events, since she had nothing better to do for several days straight.  
  
She thought about her situation, and was sort of proud of herself. This was only the second time she had been impulsive in her life. Buying the expensive pink leather boots didn't count. She was a little angry with herself when she realized that the only times she had done anything really stupid were because of Jess. She hated that. But then again, he brought out a different side of her. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to just follow your heart once in a while.  
  
Even going 75 miles per hour on a road that only had a speed limit of 50 mph, the time passed slowly. Around 9:00, Rory passed a sign welcoming her to Pennsylvania. It was a good feeling, knowing that she was already several states away from home, that she was too far into her trip to turn back now. She decided that she wanted to get into Ohio before she stopped for the night. The news kept repeating itself every fifteen minutes, and eventually she got bored.  
  
Digging under her seat, she finally pulled out the only CD that had been left in the car. She realized that, for her next cross-country road trip, she would put CDs on her "must-have" list. But she put the CD in anyways, glad to have something better to listen to. The first song began to play, and she immediately knew what she was hearing. Closer by Better Than Ezra.  
  
And the morning light was breaking/slowly moving across the bed/ he gets up without her waking/ to the voices in his head/ through the shadows in the hallway/ to the room they painted blue/ on the inside he is frightened/ at a loss for what to do/ till he opens up his eyes/ and the angels all look down/ even closer than this life/ closer than your faith/ closer than the things that you hold dearly here in vain/ closer than this life...  
  
Jess had never liked any of that sappy stuff, and for the most part she agreed with him on music. But he had burned this CD as a surprise for her, and she was shocked when the first song on it was about a man who was happy about having his first child. It reminded her a lot of Creed's "With Arms Wide Open" without the really heavy guitar riffs. She thought about the day he had given her the mix in the apartment above the diner.  
  
** (Flashback) **  
  
R: "Oooh! A CD. Can I play it now????"  
  
J (acting nervously): "What? Oh, uh, sure I guess."  
  
R: "Yay!"  
  
And she put the CD in the boombox next to his bed. The CD started to play, and she didn't recognize the songs right away. She skipped through, and noticed that they were all really romantic songs, music that Jess avoided at all costs. But she knew that music was the only way he could convey his feelings, he just kept everything bottled up inside otherwise. He always shared his favorite songs with her, and gave her recommendations when he found a good new band. So she knew that this CD meant a lot. She looked up at him, with tears in his eyes. He knew that she got the message, and looked down, embarrassed.  
  
R: "Jess, I love it."  
  
He looked up, and Rory thought he looked just like a little kid with a gleam in his eye. He walked over to her, and bent close.  
  
J: "Really?"  
  
Rory just leaned in and kissed him softly. Jess put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. The kiss deepened, but eventually they both had to come up for air. Rory looked Jess in the eyes, and smiled reassuringly. He smiled back, obviously pleased and much more self- confident. They both knew what had just happened there, but if anyone else had walked into the room that day they would have thought that it was simply a thank-you kiss for a nice gift. It meant much more.  
  
** (Back in the Car) **  
  
That memory could always make her smile. She glanced at the clock on the dashboard- 10 pm. She decided it was time to let her mom in on the secret before the search party was released. Taking her cell phone, she continued driving as she dialed slowly, avoiding the dreaded conversation. She pushed send, one ring, two rings, three rings.. "Hi. Ooof! I just tripped over the couch! Anyways, we're screening our calls. Leave a message." Rory laughed quietly at her mom's quirkiness. BEEEEEEEEEP.  
  
R: "Uh, Hi Mom, its me. Pick up. If you don't pick up in 3.2.1.. Ooookay you asked for it! (singing loudly) THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDSSSSSSSSSSS.. IT GOES ON AND ON-"  
  
L: "Ugh. I'm here, I answered the phone. Now don't say that I never did anything for you darling child."  
  
R: "So you're not mad at me anymore."  
  
L: "How could I be mad when you have such an adorable face, which you no doubt inherited from your gorgeous mother. That line would have worked much better if you were here, and I could point at your face and then my face and then."  
  
R: "Mom! I get the point."  
  
L: "Oh. Right. So, seeing as you're not here right now to have your face pointed at, where are you? Grandma's?"  
  
R: "Uh, no. Not exactly."  
  
L: "So where then?"  
  
R: "Mercer, Pennsylvania."  
  
L: "What the hell are you doing in Pennsylvania??? Is there even anything TO do in Pennsylvania? I kinda just figured you'd go to a spa for a few days, maybe New York. Who said you could go that far?"  
  
R: "Right. Well, uh, I haven't quite gotten where I'm going yet."  
  
L: "Oh really? That's what you think? Change of plans. You're going to stay the night where you are now. In the morning, when it will be safer, you're going to drive back home. I'll see you in tomorrow."  
  
R: "I'm sorry mom, but I have some things that I need to do. I'll call you everyday. Twice a day, three times even. But I might be gone for a little while. Two weeks tops."  
  
L: "Two weeks!?!?! Where are you going that you'd need that much time to.? OH."  
  
R: "Yeah."  
  
L: "Listen, Rory. I know you didn't like what I said about Jess before, but I was telling you the truth. You can't drive all the way out to California to get your heart stomped on."  
  
R: "I have to try. If it doesn't work out, I'm just going to some home. Either way, I'll be home in two weeks."  
  
L: "If by home you mean here, my house, then you can forget it. You either come home by tomorrow night, or not at all. That's the way it's going to be."  
  
Rory pulled the phone away from her ear, stunned. She just stared at it for a minute before clicking "end". She kept driving, and in a half-hour or so she passed over the Ohio border. At 11 o'clock she decided to find a hotel, and pulled off the highway. She had to make a decision.  
  
This town had no hotels. Not even one. Frustrated and tired, she pulls back onto the highway and keeps driving. She is so angry with her mother for putting her in that kind of position. She has made up her mind. She will keep driving, she's going to find Jess, to make things right between them again. When she comes back, with or without Jess, she will make up with Lorelai. And by then, hopefully, the situation will have been forgotten. That said, she picks up her speed again. Never in her life has she gone this fast, but she just needs to get out west as quickly as possible.  
  
The speedometer rises steadily, until she hits 95 mph, when she pulls back just a little. *No sense getting a ticket to slow me down* But that logic was a little funny- with a speed limit at 55, what difference will it make if you're going 90 or 95? But nonetheless she sped along. It was now midnight. When she reached Columbus, she would pull off. It wasn't too much farther, but the roads were getting much darker, and Rory's eyelids were becoming heavier. A ring brings her out of a daze. Realizing she can't find her phone, she searches everywhere. Remembering throwing it behind her seat after the conversation with Lorelai, she reaches back, but can't find it. She turns around completely and spots the phone glowing right behind her chair.  
  
Just as she gets her hand on the phone, she feels the car jolt forward and she looks up just in time to see the car flip over in the direction of a patch of trees. The last thing she saw was the caller ID on the phone: "HOME". Then the steering wheel got in the way of her head, and she went unconscious.  
  
** AN: Feel free to hate me. I think I just alienated the whole Northeast US in writing this, but I swear I meant no harm. PS- I made up Huxley NY, it shouldn't really exist. But Scranton does, as well as Mercer PA. I've never been to either of these places, and I'm quite sure that they're not nearly as bad as I said. The whole Lorelai scene about PA seemed so necessary however. So hate me. I don't care. I just hope you can overlook that one little flaw and still enjoy the story. 


	7. A Cozy Armoire

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch7- A Cozy Armoire  
  
AN: I needed to watch tonight's episode before I could write another Jess scene. I think I'm warming up to the spin-off, cast is good and everything looks okay. But I don't want him to go. Granted, he already left, but he could still come back. PS- I apologize for the way the story skips around in time a bit, but it was the only way to get the story to work without going back and forth every two seconds.  
  
**  
  
Jess thought that he might just be able to get used to this life. Then again, wasn't this exactly what he didn't want? Granted, he never worked hard enough to bring himself out of his rut, but he always thought that by reading, by knowing his stuff, that he could do something with his life. And working at a hot-dog stand on the boardwalk wasn't what he would consider "doing something". But for right now, it would be okay. He knew he had to do something more, and he would work his way up.  
  
The beach was gorgeous, but he was so unfamiliar with the West Coast style of life. New York had taught him to be different and to be unique, but also to keep all of his emotions inside. Here he was expected to be different, but then again he was kind of supposed to be forthright, to put his emotions on the line a little bit. His biggest problem was Sasha. She was perfectly nice, she helped him out, but she was always trying to get him to talk. Not what he needed. Jimmy understood, but he had also changed quite a bit (Jess assumed), from his old life. And Lily, well Lily was crazy. But in a way he liked that, because, behind all the weird quirks, he saw himself. She loved to read, and she hid from the world as she engrossed herself in the latest book. He had even recommended some of his first books for her to read, and she had finished them off within the day.  
  
But he couldn't help thinking how much he had screwed things up. He figured he would work out here for a while, earn some cash. He would study and get his GED. Then maybe, just maybe he could go back home. He hoped that Rory would wait for him, but he knew there was no chance of that. Even if she never dated anyone in her entire life after him, she would never love him again.  
  
He picked up a book, and plopped himself down in one of the chairs, but found he couldn't get comfortable. He looked around for another chair, and noticed the armoire against the wall. Knowing that everyone was out of the house, he pulled open the doors and looked around. There was enough room for a 9-year-old girl, but could an 18-year old man fit? He gave it a shot, and found himself cramped inside. But he didn't mind, in fact, it was kind of cozy. So he sat in there for a while, and forgot all about his book. Instead he thought about everything that had gone on recently.  
  
Jess had called Rory that afternoon. He had made one huge mistake, and she had heard him explain his feelings. He was worried that she would do something stupid (which was unlikely) because he hadn't said goodbye. That was what had happened last time, when he had run away to New York. She came to visit him, and he went back to Stars Hollow for her. He wouldn't let that happen this time. But she wouldn't come visit him, she wouldn't do anything. Not after what he did. No matter how many slips of the tongue he made. She had too many things to look forward to, and he always managed to get in the way of her plans. She wasn't dumb; she was graduating from Chilton.  
  
It was getting late, and Jess thought about heading off to his "temporary" mattress on the floor in the living room. He climbed out of the closet, and carefully placed the long forgotten book back on the shelf. He went to the bathroom to get changed and brush his teeth, when the phone rang. He checked his watch- well past midnight. *These crazy Californians. Back home, no one dares call past nine* So, half-dressed (AN: yuuuuummy), Jess ran to answer the phone.  
  
**  
  
It was late. She had already called Rory ten or fifteen times trying to apologize. She knew that Rory was upset, and she understood the need for closure. She shouldn't have given her only daughter an ultimatum that could result in never seeing Rory again. She didn't want to be like her mother, she wanted to have a relationship with her daughter, always. So she was calling to retract her previous statement, to make good on her mistakes. But Rory hadn't answered her phone. No matter how bad the argument, she always picked up the phone. That was the rule in their house. Lines of communication were to remain open in case of an emergency. So that was why Lorelai was concerned.  
  
It was 11:45. Their conversation had happened nearly two hours ago. Lorelai dialed the cell phone number just one more time, hoping to reach her daughter. She knew that Rory was sensible, that she would be fine by herself. But she wanted their fight to be over, and she wanted to make SURE that Rory was okay. So she called. The phone rang. She just let it ring, hoping to get the voice mail, but no such luck. So she called again, wondering if there was something wrong with the connection. She waited, and it rang five times. After the fifth ring, she heard a click, and the phone on the other end dropped. She could hear a lot of loud noise in the background, and decided to wait on the line. Eventually the phone was picked up again, and Lorelai heard an unfamiliar person on the other end.  
  
Person: "Hello?"  
  
L: "Uh, yeah. Who is this?"  
  
Person: "Ma'am this is Caitlin O'Rourke with the Columbus Rescue Squad."  
  
L: "Okay Caitlin. My name is Lorelai Gilmore; I am the mother of the girl who owns the phone you're using. Where is she?"  
  
Caitlin: "Ms. Gilmore, there was an accident. I cannot give you any details at this point, but we will be transporting your daughter to Columbus Memorial Hospital and I think it would be best if you could go there."  
  
L (screaming now): "I live in Connecticut. I don't even know where Columbus Memorial is. Can't you tell me anything?"  
  
C: "I'm sorry, but it's not allowed. But I can tell you that the hospital is located at 342 Point Rd in Columbus Ohio."  
  
L: "Alright, I'll be heading out there as soon as possible. If you talk to her, can you tell her I'm on my way?  
  
C: "Of course. I'm sorry to put you through this ma'am."  
  
Lorelai hung up the phone, completely in shock. She didn't know what to do. She had to get to a city 7 hours away, and she needed to get there now. She began crying quietly, but stopped quickly, remembering that this was about Rory. She went to get her keys and remembered that Rory had the Jeep. She needed to think quickly, but knew that she never thought well without coffee. At least the adrenaline rush from all of this served as some good energy. Thinking of coffee, Lorelai knew what her only option was. Grabbing the phone from the floor where she had dropped it, she called the only person she knew who would help.  
  
L: "Luke!"  
  
Luke: "huh? Lorelai? It's nearly midnight!"  
  
L: "I have a huge problem and I need your help."  
  
Luke: "Look. I'm sorry that you're dying for coffee, but Nicole's over here right now and there isn't much I can do to help you."  
  
L: "No, you don't understand. Rory left this afternoon. I just called her phone, and an EMT told me that she was in an accident. I don't have the-"  
  
Luke: "An accident? Are you sure? Is she okay?"  
  
L: "I don't know. They wouldn't tell me anything. But I need to get out to Ohio, and I don't have a car. You're the only one who can help me. Please Luke."  
  
For the first time, Luke realized why her voice sounded different. He had just thought that she was tired and cranky, but now he knew that she was crying, just a little bit, the whole time that she had been on the phone. His heart melted.  
  
Luke: "Of course Lorelai. I'll be there in a few minutes."  
  
L: "Thanks Luke. I don't know how I can thank you."  
  
Luke: "Don't worry about it. I'll be right there."  
  
Luke hung up, and turned to look at Nicole, who was giving him a jealous look. He had noticed it before when Lorelai's name had been mentioned, but now the stare had turned deathly.  
  
L: "Rory was in an accident. I have to go with Lorelai to make sure that she's okay."  
  
N: "Look, Luke. I know you think that you and Lorelai are just good friends. But you have to understand that no one else sees it that way. You're willing to drop everything at one word from Lorelai. I can't go through with it anymore."  
  
L: "No Nicole. Don't do this now. Just wait until I get back from the hospital, and we can work this out then."  
  
N: "Sorry Luke, it's just not going to work out."  
  
And with that, she opened the apartment door and walked down the stairs. Luke watched as she walked away, then ran quickly to pack a bag and some necessities for the trip. He didn't know how long they would be there, and what mental state Lorelai would be in. That done, he took his bag and went out to his car. He sped down the street, running the one light in the entire town.  
  
**  
  
Lorelai heard the car pull up. She had gotten a few of her things together, as well as some of Rory's clothes and other things that they might need. She wasn't too organized, and she was running low on time, so she threw everything she could think of into her bag. Then she walked out to the car where Luke was waiting, and got into the passenger side quietly. Luke drove silently, deciding that it was better to keep quiet until Lorelai said something.  
  
L: "Thanks for doing this."  
  
Luke: "You don't need to thank me. I would do anything for Rory."  
  
L: "I can't believe she would just leave like that."  
  
Luke: "yeah, well I shouldn't have given her his address."  
  
L: "Wait. You knew where she was going? You didn't try to stop her? You didn't even tell me?"  
  
Luke: "I promised her I wouldn't tell, and she promised me that she would let you know."  
  
L: "I can't believe you! I thought we were good friends. You just go and hide this huge secret from me."  
  
Luke: "Lorelai, I drove to pick you up at 12 PM. I came here even though my girlfriend was going to dump me if I came. Don't pull that crap with me."  
  
L: "Nicole broke up with you?"  
  
Luke: "Yeah. No big deal though."  
  
L: "It is a big deal. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just upset."  
  
Luke: "And you should be. I think we should, umm, call Jess."  
  
L: "What? Why?"  
  
Luke: "Because he has a right to know. He will care, and since Rory was on her way out to see him, there is probably a good chance that she wanted to talk to him. Which means that he should know, and we should get him to drag his ass out to Ohio."  
  
L: "He won't come."  
  
Luke: "Well it worth a shot at least. Give me your cell phone."  
  
He hated cell phones, but this was an emergency. He kept one hand on the wheel while he dug Jess' number out of his wallet. Luke knew that this was going to be a tough conversation, but he had no choice.  
  
J: "Hello?"  
  
Luke: "Yeah, uh, is Jess there?"  
  
J: "Luke? What the hell are you doing calling this late. What are you even doing UP this late?"  
  
Luke: "No jokes right now Jess. I need to tell you something, and you have to listen."  
  
J: "Umm okay."  
  
Luke: "Rory stopped by to see me today, to get your address. She was upset, and she was planning on heading out there. To see you."  
  
J: "WHAT???"  
  
Luke: "Jess, she got in an accident. Lorelai and I are driving out to see her now, we don't know what kind of condition she's in. But Rory's going to need you there. Lorelai and I are going to need you there too."  
  
J (stuttering): "A-a-an ac-accident?"  
  
Luke: "Yeah. She's at the Columbus Memorial Hospital in Ohio. Can you head out there soon?"  
  
J: "I'm sorry Luke. I don't think I can do that. I just don't think that I could bear to see her lying in a hospital bed, when it's all my fault. Rory will be glad to have you and Lorelai there for support. She doesn't need me there. She shouldn't even want to see me. There's just no way that I could go."  
  
**  
  
AN: AHH! I'm sorry! Don't kill me please. I'll update tomorrow, or Thursday at the latest. And I promise, it will get better. 


	8. WellSuited Runaways

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch8- Well-suited Runaways  
  
AN: Okay, I think I should be more than halfway done. But we'll just have to see as the story progresses. Please, please, please keep reading and reviewing, feedback gives me incentive to write. You all have been fantastic about this, but keep it up! Also, I'm open to constructive criticism, even flames, so please keep reviewing. Okay I'm gonna go over all the disclaimer stuff again now, just in case anyone has forgotten.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls. I do not own any of the main characters. I do own the plot, but considering I don't own any of the people, it won't do me any good. PS- I will buy Milo, so if anyone knows if he is for sale, let me know.  
  
Rating: Pg-13. I think it will stay like this for the rest of the story.  
  
Recap: Jess left for Venice two weeks ago. Both Rory and Jess are upset. Rory goes after Jess, but gets in a car accident in Ohio. What will happen next?  
  
All right, on with the story.  
  
**  
  
J (stuttering): "A-a-an ac-accident?"  
  
Luke: "Yeah. She's at the Columbus Memorial Hospital in Ohio. Can you head out there soon?"  
  
J: "I'm sorry Luke. I don't think I can do that. I just don't think that I could bear to see her lying in a hospital bed, when it's all my fault. Rory will be glad to have you and Lorelai there for support. She doesn't need me there. She shouldn't even want to see me. There's just no way that I could go."  
  
Luke: "WHAT? Don't give me that crap Jess. I'm not in the mood for it. You will leave now. Get on a bus, a plane, steal a car. I don't care. Just get your ass to Ohio ASAP."  
  
J: "No. You don't understand. I can't go, because if I go then I won't be able to stay away. And I need to stay away for Rory's sake. I'm no good for her."  
  
Luke: "Are you really that much of a dumbass? She is lying in some hospital bed right now, Jess. God knows what's wrong. But this much I do know- this is all your fault. You left; she was upset. She talked to you, and she decided to drive 3000 miles to see you. Newsflash Jess. She obviously needed you. You can't blow her off now when she could need you the most."  
  
J: "I just-its just that. Ah Shit!"  
  
Luke: "Okay then. Well, I better see you soon. Or else I am going to drive out to California MYSELF and personally kick your sorry ass."  
  
Luke hung up the phone, and continued driving. He was tired, but he knew that he had to stay awake. For Rory. For Lorelai. He looked over at his companion. She had tears streaming steadily down her cheeks and every once in a while she would hold back a choked sob. He looked around awkwardly, then slowly reached his arm over and patted her on the back. She continued to weep. He didn't know what to do. He gently pulled her towards him across the seat and held her tightly to him with his free arm.  
  
Eventually she stopped crying and fell into a fitful sleep. Luke began to relax, and thought he might even enjoy a trip like this with Lorelai under more normal circumstances. He looked at the highway signs- they had just entered New York.  
  
**  
  
Jess couldn't think straight. He needed to go for a walk. Grabbing a sweatshirt, he started to walk out the door before realizing that he couldn't go anywhere. He had no time to think. He would just have to deal with his headache for a moment while he figured out what to do. His plan had just gone to crap. But then again, his plan didn't really matter too much anymore.  
  
Rory didn't care that he had let her down, that he was a complete screw-up. He knew that know. Thinking about his history, he realized that he was a wimp. He pretended to be strong, not to care about other peoples' opinions of him. But it was all a façade. He had messed up before; he did a lot of stupid things in his past. But then he met Rory and things changed. Until the time he broke her arm. A mistake, that's all. They had just started getting along, things were working out, and he screwed up. He was afraid that everyone would hate him (which they did), and he was worried that Rory would hate him. So he ran away, back home to New York City. They were perfect for each other- Rory ran after first kisses, Jess ran away when things got bad.  
  
So he moved back to New York. But then Rory had come to visit him, and he knew that he couldn't stay away. He went back because he had to be with her. And he waited, he was extra patient. And eventually he had Rory all to himself. And then, right on time, Mr. Brilliant himself fucked himself over. He got a second job to save up some extra cash, but he skipped school to pick up extra shifts. Harmless, he figured, because he could easily pass the test. But he failed out anyway because his school had a maximum for days missed. Then, upset with himself, he had pushed Rory a little too far. He knew she wasn't ready, but he just wasn't thinking straight. He couldn't bear to have everyone he loved mad at him again. So he took off again. And Rory had come back after him again. He decided to go to her. He had gone back last time for himself, for his happiness. This time he needed to go back for her. And he was going to screw up, that was a fact of life. Next time, though, he wasn't going to run.  
  
**  
  
Luke had been speeding the whole way, maxing out the speed that his old truck could handle. It was 4am, and he figured that they were only an hour or so away. They say time flies when you're having fun. Or when you're really dreading something. The second case was true for him on this trip. He looked down at Lorelai, still curled up in his side, and began to stroke her hair lightly. She looked so beautiful sleeping there next to him, and he wished that he could have this sight every morning for the rest of his life. He scoffed at that thought. He had known this woman for, what, 8 years? They had their chances, and blew them enough to know that they would never work out. But in the back of his mind he couldn't help thinking how right this felt.  
  
Lorelai stirred when she felt soft hands stroking her hair and face, and Luke's strong arm holding her tight. She felt safe, like she could stay there for hours. It was like a dream come true; maybe she and Luke could finally get it together. She looked up and smiled at him. But then she noticed that the scenery was moving. They were in his truck, and it was really late. Well, actually, really early, since the clock on the dash read 4:45. Then the events of the previous night began to flood back to her.  
  
L: "Where are we now?"  
  
Luke: "We just crossed the Pennsylvania/Ohio border. At this rate, we should hit Columbus in 20 minutes or so."  
  
L: "Oh God. What if she's not okay? What if she's dead, or in a coma? I can't make life-or-death decisions!"  
  
Luke: "Lor! You cannot think like that. We will go to the hospital and find out what's wrong with Rory. We will take it from there. There is no sense worrying right now, so don't get yourself worked up."  
  
L: "I can't help it. If it wasn't serious they would have told me over the phone."  
  
Luke: "It's just a legal precaution. Don't panic."  
  
Pretending to follow his advice, Lorelai just sat in her seat, playing different scenarios over and over again in her head. She was worried sick, and she couldn't help but blame herself. She didn't know what had caused the accident, but she did know that Rory had been upset, and rightly so. She glanced out the window and watched as the Ohio scenery sped by. On the side of the road she noticed the blue hospital sign. She looked over at the driver's side. Luke had obviously noticed the sign too. They would be at the hospital soon, and then things would start to get even tougher.  
  
They pulled into the visitors' lot, and since it was so early, were able to find a spot very close to the front door. The car was barely stopped before both Luke and Lorelai darted into the emergency room door in search of Rory.  
  
**  
  
Rory had been in and out of consciousness all day, but only caught glimpses of the scenes unfolding around her. She saw machines and heard them whirring around her, she saw as the white walls whirred past her. But she was unable to piece all of these things together, and she was happier when she was able to slip back into the world of the semi-conscious.  
  
*She was walking to her first class at Yale, smiling through the streets of New Haven. As she approached the door to the big lecture hall where the freshman writing seminar was to be held, she saw a familiar figure standing under the arch. He just stood there waiting, holding a single sunflower in his hands. She giggled when she saw him, and ran forward to meet him. Rory threw her arms around his neck and kissed him slowly, much like their first kiss at Sookie's wedding. She pulled back and gave Jess a wide smile.  
  
R: "I'm glad you drove the 22.9 miles here to see me."  
  
J: "Well, with a response like that, who wouldn't?"  
  
He smirked at her and she laughed. She took the sunflower from his hands and smelled it.  
  
R: "Is this for me?"  
  
He smiled genuinely at her. She checked her watch.  
  
R: "Oh no! I'm almost late. I've got to go."  
  
J: "Yeah, you don't want to be late to your first class."  
  
He leaned in and kissed her, pushing her gently against the pillar in the arch. Rory felt so comfortable like this with Jess that she never wanted to leave. And just at that moment, the scene began to fade away. *  
  
Rory managed to open her eyes just a little, but it was very painful. She had just been able to see a person who she did not know place an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. A few seconds later, she was unconscious again.  
  
**  
  
(12:35)  
  
Jess had thought through all of his transportation options. He had wanted to get there as quickly as possible. He didn't really have too much choice. If he were to drive out there on a bus or in a car, it would take him nearly two days. He needed to be there faster. There was no train that went out to Columbus Ohio from LA. So his only choice was to fly. It would still be a long trip because of the long waits at airports and the long drive he would still have at the other end. But it was the best option.  
  
He went into the closet and grabbed his suitcase, which was still packed. He probably should have left more of his stuff at Luke's, but he wasn't ever expecting to go back. So now he had to lug his huge duffel bag all the way across the country for the second time in less than one month. He looked around to make sure he wasn't leaving anything behind. He saw a familiar frame sitting on the coffee table next to his bed in the living room. He picked it up, and smiled at the girl who was sitting in his arms on the bridge. He missed that, the feeling of holding Rory in his arms. And then he panicked. He might not ever get to have that feeling, he might not ever get to kiss her or apologize or tell her that he loved her. He leaned against the wall, and slowly slid to the floor. Pulling his knees to his chest, he hid his face behind them like a little kid. He didn't want anyone to see him as the tears began to fall. Jess Mariano doesn't cry, he told himself. But no matter what he told himself, he just couldn't get up. Too much had happened in the last few months. He had been happier than ever before with Rory. Then everything changed when he left, and his heart broke. And he was sure that he had broken Rory's heart, and he couldn't even call it a mistake. Now she was lying in some hospital bed, and it was his fault.  
  
He jumped up and dragged his duffel behind him out the door. He knew he could always catch a cab at the boardwalk, so he walked briskly in that direction, his face still wet from the tears he shed. He could see the lights from well over two blocks away. There were always taxis waiting on the side streets that led to the boardwalk to take people home who were too drunk to drive themselves. He jumped in one, told the cabby where he was headed, and leaned against the door as the car zipped off towards LA International Airport.  
  
The notorious LA traffic wasn't nearly as bad at this time of the morning. He arrived at the departure terminal at exactly 12:59. He paid the fare, and ran inside to the ticket counter. He looked at the departure screen, looking for any flights to Ohio, specifically Columbus. He didn't see one on the screen, so he went to the first open booth.  
  
J: "I need a flight to Columbus, Ohio as soon as possible."  
  
Ticket Agent: "I'm sorry sir, but out airline does not fly to Columbus. I believe that American Airlines does however."  
  
Without even a thank you, he walked to the American Airlines counter.  
  
J: "Do you fly to Columbus Ohio?"  
  
Ticket Agent 2: "Well yes sir, we do. But we currently do not offer any direct flights from LAX. But we do have transfers in many major cities."  
  
J: "Uh. Okay, so when is the next possible flight?"  
  
TA2: "We have a flight leaving here at 1:30 this morning for Dallas/Fort Worth Texas. That flight would arrive in Dallas at 6:45, and the flight to Columbus would leave by 7:15. That should have you in by 11 am."  
  
J: "Well, its round-about. But its much better than driving. How much?"  
  
TA2: "Will this be a round trip or one-way ticket sir?"  
  
J: "Uh, one-way." He smirked.  
  
TA2: "Well sir, a one-way ticket to Columbus, Ohio would come to $829.97."  
  
J: "830 bucks!? That's ridiculous"  
  
TA2: "I'm sorry sir, but that's the only rate we have available."  
  
Jess began digging through his duffel bag and came up with a wooden box that had once contained very expensive Cuban cigars. Now it held all of his savings. He had made quite a bit of money working at Wal-Mart and Luke's, but he had also spent some of it on his trip out here. He started counting, but faced away from everyone in sight. He still held onto some of his New York tricks, and he knew that counting any amount of money in public was putting himself in serious danger. He had exactly $947 saved up, but this was the only money he had in the whole world. He figured it would be enough to get him out there and to rent a car. From there, he would have Luke, who might understand for a little while until Jess was able to get himself back on his feet. So he bought the ticket, and seeing as his watch read 1:16, he ran down the terminal to get to his gate. He got there just in time, and boarded the plane. Picking an aisle seat near the back of the plane, he took note of nearest emergency exits and the several lavatory locations. He hated flying.  
  
** AN: I'm sorry, I'm a big fat liar. I said I would get this chapter out by Thursday, but this probably won't show up on the site until Friday. I'm sorry. I'm already working on the next chapter and it will be up this weekend. I'm thinking that this story should be done around chapters 12-15 or so. It will probably go longer than that because I repeat myself way too much and I love to babble in my stories. So I'll apologize in advance for that. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!!!!!!! 


	9. Reminiscing

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch9- Hospital is a Good Place for Coffee Death  
  
AN: I'm sorry that my chapters have been so long with nothing ever happening. I promise that this chapter will be more action packed, and hopefully the rest will be too. Just so that you know, I was planning on keeping this only a Lit. story but since I included Luke and Lorelai so prominently in the story, I got kind of caught up. When you see Java Junkie scenes, don't think that I changed the focus on my story. It's just a nice sub-plot. Thank you so much for all the support!!  
  
**  
  
They had just spent the past five hours driving in the old truck, and now they were to have their fears either confirmed or abated. For some unknown reason, Lorelai was able to hold herself together as she ran through the hallway towards the information desk with Luke directly on her heels.  
  
L: "My daughter was brought here late last night. She was in a car accident. Lorelai Gilmore."  
  
Receptionist: "Lorelai Gilmore?" She shuffles through an unorganized pile of papers until she finds what she's looking for. "Oh yes. Ma'am, please follow me."  
  
Lorelai was worried. She was going to see Rory now, and she wasn't sure if she really wanted to see her. But she went, knowing that Rory would need her, especially if she was in bad shape. The young woman who they had been following turned to make sure that they were still behind her and gave a weak, crooked smile as she opened a door on the right side of the hallway. On the other side of the door were a few sets of chairs, several couches, and a table. Lorelai was able to catch a glimpse at the sign on the door before she walked into the room: "FAMILY WAITING ROOM".  
  
Receptionist: "Ms. Gilmore, I am going to have to ask you and your friend to wait here. I am afraid we cannot allow you to see your daughter quite yet, but I will send the doctor to explain everything to you in just a few minutes."  
  
L: "Where is Rory? Can you tell me what happened, how she is, anything??? I just drove from Connecticut to find her, and now I have to wait in this tiny room for some intern to come and tell me the same thing that you just told me? I want to know what's going on!"  
  
Receptionist: "I'm sorry, I don't know any details. Dr. Pierce should visit any minute now, and he should be able to answer all of your questions. Now I must get back to my desk, but please feel free to make yourself at home here, and come to me if you need anything."  
  
The woman backed slowly out the door before Lorelai could protest anymore. She knew how these things went, how tough emergency visits were on families. There was nothing more she could do for this woman or the man who had come with her. As soon as the door shut, Lorelai took a quick look around the room and noticed Luke standing next to her. He had been so quiet she had almost forgotten he was there.  
  
L: "Make myself at home? How can they expect anyone to do that in such a claustrophobic space when their only daughter was in an accident six hours ago and they haven't heard anything about her condition?"  
  
Luke: "Lorelai, this is common practice. The receptionist doesn't know any details about Rory, she just answers the phone. Let's just wait for the doctor."  
  
L: "And did she say his name was Dr. Pierce? What kind of name is that for a doctor?"  
  
Luke: "Come on, you need to calm down. In a few minutes we'll find out that Rory is fine, and we'll go to see her. Let's sit down."  
  
Luke puts his hand on the small of Lorelai's back and leads the hysterical woman to a comfortable looking couch in the corner of the room. She leans against him and pulls her feet up under her on the couch so that she is practically sitting on top of him. He notices a small wet spot begin to form on his shirt where she had rested her head. He hated it when women cried, it made him uncomfortable. He put both arms around her and held her in a sort of sideways embrace. As she calmed down, he rested his head on top of hers and kissed the top of her head. She felt warmth spread through her body from the point where he had kissed her, and began to feel better. Now she was glad that she had asked Luke to come with her, because no one else would have said yes without questioning or made her feel better with such a simple gesture. She appreciated his presence and was glad that he wasn't trying to make small talk while they waited.  
  
Waiting was a tiring business, and they were so comfortable in each other's arms that their eyes closed and eventually they were asleep. Lorelai was out long before Luke, who was mesmerized at watching his old friend sleeping right next to him. But he was soon in dreamland as well. So, naturally, they both jumped when they heard the door click. Memories from the previous night coming back to them, they quickly collected themselves. Standing in front of them was a man in his mid-forties, with salt-and- pepper hair and wearing 'Peanuts' scrubs with a white lab coat. Lorelai was reassured at the sight of a veteran doctor, presumably with a sense of humor. They both stood to greet him.  
  
Doctor: "Ms. Gilmore, Mr.--?"  
  
Luke: "Danes."  
  
Doctor: "Mr. Danes. My name is Dr. Pierce. I have been the younger Miss Gilmore's doctor here at Columbus Memorial Hospital and will continue to be so during her stay here."  
  
L: "How is Rory?"  
  
D: "Miss Gilmore, er, Rory, is in surgery right now. She went into surgery around 12:30 this morning, and it is expected to be placed in recovery in another hour or so. She came into our ER with fairly severe damage, but she was conscious, which is always a good sign. She has a broken rib from her seat belt and a bone is broken in her foot. She has a concussion apparently from head contact with the steering wheel. He had some internal bleeding, that was the reason we went into surgery. We expect a full recovery, but it will most likely be long and somewhat painful."  
  
Somewhere during the speech, Lorelai found herself slouch back into her seat on the couch. She couldn't handle it. Luke reached down and took her hand in his, letting her know that he was there.  
  
Luke: "When will we be able to see her?"  
  
D: "Rory will need to be alone in the recovery room for an hour after surgery. After that we will assign her a room, at which point you will be able to visit with her in her own room and stay with her as long as you would like. So to make a long story short, you should be able to see her in two hours, assuming that all goes as planned."  
  
Lorelai was still in shock, and wasn't able to ask the doctor anything, so Luke kept up the conversation, asking everything that might be important later.  
  
Luke: "And at this point, how will she be?"  
  
D: "For the first few hours after surgery, she will probably still be heavily sedated from the anesthesia we gave her, so she may not wake up at all. When she does wake up she will be highly confused. Patients in this state tend to be either incoherent or say rather illogical things. She will also be hooked up to many machines, so do not be surprised when you see this. We just need to monitor her vital signs to make sure that there are no complications from the surgery."  
  
Luke: "When will she be able to leave?"  
  
D: "Well, its hard to say at this point since it is all dependent on her recovery from surgery, but we hope that she can be released in as few as five days. Of course, she may need to be in a wheelchair for a short time before progressing to crutches, but we have high hopes for a quick recovery."  
  
Luke didn't have any more questions, but by this point Lorelai had composed herself enough to take part in the conversation again. She had heard that Rory would be okay. That's all she wanted to know. She could handle rough recoveries and broken bones. She just had one thought nagging at the back of her mind.  
  
L: "Doctor, do you know how the accident happened?"  
  
D: "I don't know exact details, but I was told when she was brought in that her car had run off the road into a clump of trees. There will probably be a police officer here to speak with you later about the accident and to get a statement from Rory when she is feeling better."  
  
L: "Okay thank you doctor."  
  
D: "Alright. If I have answered all of your questions, I'll get out of your hair. Feel free to go get some food from our cafeteria or go to the lounge to watch some TV. When Miss Gilmore is assigned a room, I'll send a staff member to find you."  
  
They were both relieved now that they had found out everything that they wanted to know. Not to say that they had gotten good news by any stretch of the imagination, but all the suspense was off, and they only had to wait for Rory to come out of surgery. They had gotten used to waiting, and went to make themselves comfortable on the couch again.  
  
**  
  
(6:42 am) Jess was jolted awake as he felt his seat shake. He looked around him and out the window to see the runway and the terminal at Dallas/Fort Worth. His trip was more than halfway done. He reached above him for his bag and got ready to debark. He had a very short layover at this airport - 20 minutes - which was good, but he had to get all the way to the other end of the terminal in that time. So he was ready to get off and run to the next plane. He couldn't afford to miss this flight because there was not another trip to Columbus until three that afternoon.  
  
As usual, the line of people getting off the plane moved too slowly, and it took nearly five minutes for Jess to even move a few feet. He was glad when he finally got off the plane and was standing in the open area of the terminal. He had always had mild claustrophobia, and his fear of flying didn't help his situation any. He checked the signs and headed off in the direction of his gate. He got there just as the boarding was finishing, so he ran to the flight attendant with his ticket. He was the last one on the plane and only saw a middle seat in the emergency aisle. He found it ironic, like something out of a Fitzgerald novel. The person least familiar with airplanes, and the least comfortable, would be responsible for everyone's lives in case of an emergency. He hated being squished between two people, but was grateful that this flight would be shorter than the last.  
  
Unable to sleep any longer, Jess decided to watch the 'in-flight entertainment', which consisted of some cheesy teenage movie that he had never seen before. He remembered it being a part of one of Rory and Lorelai's movie nights, but he wasn't one for the sappy romances. He followed the plot closely, trying to focus his mind on something other than Rory. Apparently, there were two sisters. One was kind of a loner, did her own thing- she was the older one. The younger one was incredibly popular and wanted to be able to date and go out. The single father's only stipulation was that the older sister had to go and do the same thing the younger sister did. She never went, and the father's plan worked well. But when a jerk wanted to date the younger girl, he paid the class rebel to go out with the older sister. The good guy falls for the loner girl, and the younger girl goes for her French tutor rather than the jerk. The older sister finds out about the payment for her dates with the rebel, and she is mad. The guy makes a fool out of himself to get her back, and after much drama they get together for real.  
  
The irony just filled this trip, and it made his incredibly literary mind question the meanings of each thing that happened. The movie reminded him so much of his relationship with Rory. He was the rebel. He wasn't paid to go out with her, he wouldn't ever need that kind of incentive. But he had fallen in love with the good girl, a kind of loner. But she wasn't a loser, everyone liked her. He, the rebel, screwed up. But Jess didn't go and make a fool out of himself to get her back, he just ran away. And that's where his plot line went wrong. When 'Ten Things I Hate About You' was finished, he checked his watch. It was only 9:45. He pulled out his book and started where he had left off on the bus from Stars Hollow. He was surprised that he hadn't read at all in the last two weeks, but he had just felt that reading wasn't really reading when he couldn't share it with Rory. But since he was going back and would see Rory sometime in the next three hours, he figured that he could start up again.  
  
The plane had arrived on time, and Jess had no problem getting off and finding the rental car stand. It was only when he got to the stand that he found he had a problem. Waiting in line he read the rental policy- no renters under the age of 25. He was just barely 18, and he knew that they would check IDs here. So he got out of line to think of a new plan. He saw an information desk and looked at the map. The hospital was located about thirty miles from the airport, and he figured that he would just take a cab. He didn't need to hang onto a rental car anyway.  
  
So for the second time in 12 hours, he hailed a cab and headed towards Rory.  
  
**  
  
(7:59 am)  
  
Once again the door clicked in the waiting room, but this time Luke and Lorelai, who were now both lying flat on the couch next to each other, didn't move. The same receptionist from earlier that morning was confused about what to do with the couple. She walked over quietly and stood next to the couch. She cleared her throat. No response.  
  
Receptionist: "Excuse me. Mrs. Gilmore?"  
  
At that Lorelai looked up.  
  
L: "My mother's here?"  
  
Receptionist: "I'm sorry.?"  
  
L: "Oh, sorry. My mother is Mrs. Gilmore, if anything I am MS. Gilmore. But please call me Lorelai."  
  
Receptionist: "Alright Lorelai, I just wanted to let you know that your daughter had just been placed in Room W324. That is located in the West Wing, third floor on the left when you get off the elevator."  
  
L: "Oh! Okay, thanks."  
  
Lorelai looked at Luke, who was still sound asleep on the couch. She softly pressed her lips against his and then leaned over his face until she saw his eyes flutter. He sat up with a start, but when he recognized his surroundings he put his arm around Lorelai's shoulders and pulled her in for one more kiss. Then, hand in hand, they got up and walked to the first set of elevators. They found Rory's room without any problem, and paused outside to compose themselves before confronting what awaited them inside the room.  
  
The door opened slowly into a bare room that was painted white. The silence inside that room was deafening. The room was only filled with multiple beeping machines and a single hospital bed where both Luke and Lorelai's attention focused. On that bed lay a young girl, who, if they hadn't known any better, they may not have recognized. Her face was bruised and bandaged, and there were tubes everywhere.  
  
Luke: "She looks so small."  
  
L: "Yeah. It's hard to see her like this, she's usually so strong."  
  
Luke: "And she still is. Hell, if she wasn't as strong as she is, she might not even be here right now."  
  
L: "Huh."  
  
Luke: "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you sad. All I was saying is that you're lucky that you have a daughter like Rory."  
  
L: "I am, aren't I?"  
  
Luke: "And she's lucky to have a mom like you."  
  
Lorelai smiled a little, and took Luke over to the side of Rory's bed. They grabbed a few chairs from the hallway because they knew that they would be waiting a while before Rory woke up. After a long time of sitting there, silent, holding Rory's hands, they began to reminisce.  
  
L: "Remember the dance marathon?"  
  
Luke: "Hah, yeah. That was an interesting day wasn't it?"  
  
L: "To say the least. Rory was so upset that Dean would break up with her. I guess she didn't really notice how much she was watching Jess. She was so jealous of Shane I think."  
  
Luke: "Yeah, well Jess had been jealous of Dean since the day he saw them together."  
  
L: "Well, things worked out in the end, at least."  
  
Luke: "They were great together. We probably could have trusted them a little more, though."  
  
L: "What do you mean? I trusted them the whole time. You were the one who kept going up to the apartment every ten minutes to check on them."  
  
Luke: "Maybe so, but you certainly didn't trust them, not matter what you say. Or Jess, at least."  
  
L: "Yeah, I guess. It wasn't that I didn't want to trust him, he just made it so hard. (beat). He was good to her. I mean, except for the whole leaving thing. He made her happy, different maybe."  
  
Luke: "I'm pretty sure that she did the same for him. I dunno, I never got too much out of him. But he cared. Do you think that they were.you know.in love?"  
  
L: "Without question. Rory was in love before, with Dean. But that was puppy love. This, this was different."  
  
Luke: "Yeah. I thought so too."  
  
Glad that they had come to terms with the Rory/Jess relationship and were done with being serious, they reverted back to typical diner banter.  
  
L: "Can you get me coffee? I'm on caffeine withdrawal."  
  
Luke: "No. I'm not going to let you die a horrible unhealthy death now."  
  
L: "But we're in a hospital. Even if it were true that one could die from too much coffee intake, which I deny completely, there could be no better place than here with amazing doctors and nurses."  
  
Luke: "NO Lorelai. I am not going to get you coffee."  
  
L: "Okay drastic measures!"  
  
She leaned in like she was going to kiss him, and when she was just millimeters from his face she began tickling him with all her might. He kept a straight face as he leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away.  
  
L: "Dammit Luke! How can you not be ticklish. You can't be any fun if you're not ticklish."  
  
Luke: "Oh, can't I?"  
  
And he went to kiss her again this time, and succeeded. She smiled and kissed him back. Lorelai took off his hat and threw it on the floor so she could run her fingers through his hair. Suddenly she pulled back and gave him a fake glare.  
  
L: "Don't think that you can make me forget about my coffee by just kissing me. Please please, pretty please Luke? Don't you want to make me happy?"  
  
Luke: "No Lorelai. No coffee. I could go get you a cup of tea if you want. You don't need that kind of caffeine now, you're hyper enough as it is."  
  
L: "Fine. But you would think that since my daughter is in the hospital for the SECOND time because of YOUR nephew, you would want to do something nice for me."  
  
At that moment they heard movement behind them, and Lorelai just managed to turn around to see Jess walking away from the door with his back to them. He turned his head to call out to them.  
  
J: "Well, I'm SO glad that I came all this way back to see that nothing's changed."  
  
And he kept walking back towards the elevators, leaving Luke and Lorelai in shock.  
  
** AN: Okay, thanks again for reading. In response to a review I got about the time to drive to Columbus, I have to apologize. According to Mapquest, the drive from Hartford, CT to Ohio would be more than 10 hours. I completely underestimated the length of the trip, but considering that I already set all the times and stuff, I would mess everything up if I went back and fixed it. So I'm sorry that it is unrealistic, but just go with it. Thanks. 


	10. AN

AN: I really don't like doing this, but I needed to let you all know whats going on with the story since I havent updated in a while.  
  
I am having some serious writers block. I had the whole story planned out a while ago up until chapter eight, but then I stopped. So chapter nine was improvised, and now I don't know where to go. This story is rapidly turning into fluff, which I didn't want it to be. I'm going to start a new story, but I want to finish this one. If anyone has any ideas or would like to read what I have for ch10 and help me out, that would be great. You can email me at imsteenie@aol.com  
  
Please please help me, I would appreciate it. ~IMINLOVEWITHABOYNAMEDDDJESS 


	11. Fractured

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch10- Fractured  
  
AN: I am so sorry that this has taken me so long to get this out. A few things: this story is going in an entirely different direction from what I thought originally. Things are going to happen which I had told myself I would never use in my stories. But I won't tell you what those things are, and maybe you won't mind them. Also, you might just hate me for a little while with the chapters, because things will change. Again, I'm sorry. I hope that you still like the story though. And without further ado, here's chapter ten.  
  
**  
  
When Luke got over being stunned at the appearance of his nephew, he raced out of the hospital room to find the disgruntled teenager. He caught a glimpse of the familiar mess of so-called 'hair' getting on the elevator, but the doors closed before he could get in as well. He waited well over five minutes for the elevator returned and he really hoped that Jess hadn't had enough time to get back into his cab and ride back to the airport. But as he found his way to the main doors of the hospital, he saw Jess sitting on a bench just outside the doors, struggling, with what appeared to be very shaky hands, to light a cigarette. Luke took a seat next to the distraught man who looked too much like a little boy at that moment. The older man had never been to good at these heart-to-heart talks, so they just sat in awkward silence until Luke figured that something had to be said.  
  
Luke: "She was joking, Jess."  
  
J: "Huh. Yeah right."  
  
Luke: "Think what you want. But before she said that, we had a good conversation about you and Rory. She said that she's getting used to you, might even like you just a little. She thinks that you are good for Rory."  
  
J: "Lorelai never liked me, but I can understand why. I wasn't exactly Mr. Congeniality. I don't exactly believe what you say, but I'll go along with it for now. And I'll be as nice as possible."  
  
Luke: "That's all I ask .. So you came?"  
  
J: "Yep. Nearly wiped out my bank account, but here I am."  
  
Luke: "Good. I . well Rory missed you. You gonna come back to Stars Hollow with us?"  
  
J: "Looks that way."  
  
Luke: "Okay. Well you know the rules now, so I'm guessing you'll be going back to Stars Hollow High next year?"  
  
J: "Ugh. I don't know. I don't really want to think about all of that now. Tell me . how is she?"  
  
Luke: "She's in pretty bad shape. Lots of broken bones, internal bleeding and stuff. She had surgery so she's still knocked out. The doctor said they thought she might be okay if the surgery went well, but he hasn't come to talk to us since she came out of the operating room."  
  
J: "Oh man. When you said she was in an accident, I never thought it would be that bad. Shit. Luke, how am I supposed to deal with this?"  
  
Luke: "You stay with her, you hold her hand. She's going to need a lot of support right now- that's why it's so important that you're here. Now why don't we go upstairs? You can sit with her and work out all of your issues while Lorelai and I grab breakfast. And don't worry, you won't have to figure out what to say to Rory just yet, she shouldn't wake up for a while yet."  
  
So they stood up together and made their way back to Rory's room, where Luke found Lorelai and took her down to the cafeteria. Jess stood at the foot of Rory's bed for what seemed like forever, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't believe the sight before him. The most gorgeous woman he had ever seen was reduced to a little girl in that bed with all the tubes and bandages. He felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but managed to compose himself. Taking one of the now empty chairs by her side, he self-consciously took her hand in his own and began to massage it as he sat deep in thought. He knew that Rory was fast asleep, so he figured that it wouldn't hurt anyone if he got some of his feelings out there in the open.  
  
J: "Ror? I know you probably can't hear me, and that's the only reason I'm telling you this. I missed you so much, I'm so sorry I left. I didn't mean to hurt you, to make you run after me, to put you in this god-awful place. I know I'm no fucking saint, Rory, even though you always acted like I was. I didn't want to ruin your perfect future, which is exactly what would have happened. What WOULD happen. I guess I'm coming home. If you want me back, I'm here and we can give it another shot. Who knows? Maybe this time I won't screw up, maybe I'll make something of myself. I'm not too sure of anything at this point, except that I love you, and no matter what happens, nothing will change that. So get better so that I can have my Rory back again. If I can't have MY Rory again, at least bring back the girl who gave me a chance when no one else would, who was the only person who understood the writings of the Beat generation and could appreciate Oscar Wilde and discuss the literary devices used by Faulkner. I miss that girl."  
  
He sat there again in silence, feeling much better about his situation. Jess knew that Lorelai and Luke weren't going to come back anytime soon, so he just sat back, still gripping Rory's hand, and pulled his book out of his back pocket. When Rory woke up, he would talk about 'On the Road' with her. When he suddenly turned the page and discovered that he had finished the book, Jess checked his watch, which read 10:37 am. He had been sitting there reading for over an hour, and he began to worry slightly. Luke and Lorelai had not come back from the cafeteria yet, but that wasn't his biggest concern. His eyes fell on the unconscious form next to him, and realized that it had been more than three hours since Rory had been brought to her hospital room and the anesthesia from surgery should have at least begun to wear off.  
  
Jess didn't know too much about hospitals and surgery and all of that, but he knew when something was wrong. He always prided himself on his 'sixth sense' which could tell his when he was in danger on the streets of New York or when Luke was looking for him to work in the diner. But just this once, he wished that he could just believe the doctor and ignore that feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
  
Just then, the steady beeping coming from one of the machines, supposedly a heart monitor, started to slow dramatically. It wasn't like the hospital scenes from ER or those cheesy soap operas- no loud, long beep to symbolize the lack of a pulse. But maybe that was because Rory still had a pulse, her heart was still beating, only much much slower. Jess pressed the nurse button on the side of the bed, while screaming from his seat for someone to come and help him. There was probably no one on the whole floor that didn't hear his screams, and there were at least four nurses inside the room within seconds. These nurses rushed around the room checking Rory's vital signs as Jess just sat in his chair, his skin as white as a ghost, refusing to let go of Rory's hand.  
  
Eventually the nurses left, promising that Rory was okay and that they would page Doctor Pierce. Not long after, a frantic Luke and a hysterical Lorelai returned. No words were exchanged between the solemn group, they each silently acknowledged the others' suffering and waited patiently for an explanation from the doctor. They didn't have long to wait, however, as Doctor Pierce burst through the door only minutes after the 'episode'.  
  
D: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to wait outside for a few minutes while I perform a few tests on Ms. Gilmore here."  
  
J: "NO. We're not leaving her. Not after what she's been through."  
  
D: "I'm sorry son, but it will only be a few minutes. Then you can come back in and stay for as long as you would like."  
  
Jess looked as though he wanted to punch the doctor, but Luke and Lorelai quickly jumped up and helped Jess to the chairs just outside the door to Rory's room. Doctor Pierce kept his promise, and within just a matter of minutes he was standing in front of them.  
  
D: "I understand that you are very worried. And I'm not going to lie to you about what is going on with Ms. Gilmore. The surgery did not accomplish everything that we had hoped, and it appears that she has slipped into a catatonic state. We are going to send these tests to the lab to verify this diagnosis, but right now things are not looking good. At this point, with the amount of bleeding in her brain, it looks like she may not wake up again. Rory's chances are much better if she can wake up as soon as possible, but unfortunately there is no way to make her wake up any faster. I am so sorry about the news, but I would advise you to think about your options if Ms. Gilmore does not wake up anytime soon."  
  
Lorelai: "We are not going to pull the plug on Rory. If it means that she is on life support for the rest of our lives until some cure can be found, then that's what will happen. I will not be the reason for my daughter's death!"  
  
D: "I understand. It is always better to understand the options though. Now I have to get to a trauma in the emergency room, but I promise I will be back to check on Ms. Gilmore's progress."  
  
And with that, the doctor walked down the hallway towards the elevator, leaving a very young mother, a concerned diner owner, and a worthless, yet loving, boyfriend, in shock. For the first time in her life, Lorelai was not only at a loss for words, but she simply didn't want to talk at all.  
  
~~~ Days pass. Lorelai, Luke and Jess have rented rooms at the adjacent hotel, but none of them have spent any significant amount of time in their rooms. It was not unusual for a night nurse to come across someone sprawled across the chairs in the hallway; someone else slumped over in the chair next to Rory, and yet another person pacing the room nervously, even at three or four in the morning. Jess has managed to stay by Rory's side as much as possible, trying to entertain himself, and her, while waiting for some kind of sign from her. Many hours were spent reading pages out of their favorite books.  
  
All the relatives have been notified, and elder couple- namely Richard and Emily Gilmore- called to threaten the doctor about the well being of their granddaughter. But yet, there has been no change in Rory's condition. Lorelai stands resolutely with her decision to keep Rory on life-support until every last option has been exhausted and Rory's heart just cannot support her weak body any longer.  
  
Jess wakes early on Saturday with a serious pain in his neck as he realizes that he had been sleeping completely bent over the side of the chair, with his arm almost touching the floor. After a quick glance at Rory, whom, he judged, was still in her coma, he headed out of the room towards the men's room. Walking through the door, Jess caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the wall. He looked surprisingly well, not nearly as pale as Rory, his hair only a little more messed up than usual. His eyes flashed with anger as he realized that he was doing fine while his best friend, the love of his life, was barely hanging onto her life in some foreign hospital bed. His hand came up from his side and punched his reflection. As the glass shattered, his reflection showed his emotions- fractured and confused. Suddenly, he snapped back to reality and went to clean up the mess that he had made.  
  
But leaning down, he still couldn't get over that feeling that he was wrong to go about his life when Rory was practically dead already. So he picked up one of the sharp pieces of the shattered mirror and walked back out the door.  
  
***  
  
AN: I know, I'm mean. I can't help it, cliffhangers come naturally to me. I know where I'm going from here (or at least I hope so). I should have the next chapter up next week b/c I'm going on a college trip. But keep your eyes peeled, you might get a surprise in the form of an early update if you feel like being nice and reviewing!!!! 


	12. Tension

You're Supposed to Hate Me Ch11- Tension  
  
AN: Okay, first of all, thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story and who has emailed me with suggestions. You all have been so helpful, and it makes me happy to see that people are actually reading this! I know that most of you didn't like where I took the last chapter, which means you probably wont like this one either. But please please bear with me. I promise that I want people to read my story, so I'm not purposely driving it into the ground. Just stick with it, and hopefully you wont be too disappointed.  
  
**WARNING**: the beginning of this chapter is a little bit more graphic than my others. I would probably rate parts of the chapter R just in case, so if you think you might be offended, you probably shouldn't read it. It's not too bad, but I thought I should warn you.  
  
***  
  
But leaning down, he still couldn't get over that feeling that he was wrong to go about his life when Rory was practically dead already. So he picked up one of the sharp pieces of the shattered mirror and walked back out the door.  
  
Never before had he been so confused about his life. Before Rory, Jess never cared about the future, but she made him care. He had tried to figure out his life, he was going to do something with it, even if it didn't mean going to college. All he knew was that somehow, sometime, he would be with Rory. But now that girl, who had made him want to have a future, suddenly went from having the brightest future to having a very slim chance of a future at all. And now he wasn't sure that he wanted to go through a meaningless life without love.  
  
So he walked back to Rory's room and plopped down in the chair by the bedside, feeling defeated. He allowed his eyes to take in the situation which had become so familiar to him over the past days when he would just sit in that chair and have imaginary conversations with someone who would probably never talk back. The gorgeous brown hair surrounded her all too pale, lifeless face. She was still considered alive according to the doctors- her heart continued to beat. But to Jess, that meant nothing. Rory had always been so 'alive' she was happy, she was living her dream. Rory would never be alive in Jess' eyes unless she was there talking to him again. He could deal with her being different, maybe not as happy, maybe a little more jaded. He would never consent to them cutting off her life support because he knew that Lorelai still held a lot of hope for Rory, but Jess had never been the hopeful type.  
  
It had been nearly a week since the accident, since Rory had been put in a coma. The doctors had said that they could keep her alive for as long as possible, but Rory's chances of awakening were exponentially smaller with each passing minute. Jess' mind had been crowded with feelings of guilt the whole time, and now, after re-examining the circumstances, he made a decision.  
  
As he spun the piece of broken glass in his fingers, he knew that he was being selfish. He knew that this wouldn't accomplish anything, that he couldn't make Rory's situation any better. But he also knew that he couldn't go through life without Rory, that fate would be worse than death. So he did what he thought, in his desperate state of mind, was the easiest solution.  
  
He watched as the sharp edge of the glass slowly cut across his wrist, bringing a faint red line to the skin. Growing up, God knows he had seen his fair share of suicide, but he had always seen himself as stronger than that. As he watched the blood slowly drip down his arm, he was also thinking that he knew better ways, quicker ways of dying. But he just sat there, not feeling the pain, as he pressed the glass deeper in his arm. Soon the sight of his own blood registered in his brain, his vision got blurry, and his brain automatically turned itself off from its surroundings. Instead, Jess drifted into an imaginary world, where he never left, where Rory was awake, and where, for once, he was truly happy.  
  
*** (Meanwhile) ***  
  
Luke and Lorelai had spent the night in the waiting room outside in the hall. They had woken up early as a result of stiff backs and the light streaming in the bay windows. Neither had really spoken since the horrible news, but they both knew that they had each other. Any witness of their diner conversations would not believe that these two sullen creatures could be the same people. But then again, perhaps they weren't. They had discovered a new relationship and faced a devastating crisis, all in the span of less than one week.  
  
Luke stood up slowly and offered his hand to the still half-asleep woman beside him. He knew that she wouldn't ask him for coffee anymore, it had become unimportant. She took his hand and walked with him towards the door. Neither noticed that the door was left slightly ajar, even though Luke had been sure to shut the door tightly the night before. They just walked through with eyes that didn't really see anything as they looked around.  
  
Lorelai smiled as much of a smile as her pain would allow when she saw Jess slumped over on the edge of Rory's bed. She had begun to wonder when that boy would get some sleep. It took her a few moments of intense observation to realize that there was blood on the sheets. She opened her mouth to scream, but no noise escaped. Instead, she just tugged on Luke's arm until he noticed.  
  
Nurses and doctors rushed in, gurneys were rolled in and out. Hours passed while Luke and Lorelai just stood stunned in the middle of the room. Some young nurse had been coming back periodically to let them know how Jess was doing. Not too much of the information registered in their brains, but they knew that Jess was okay. They said he took his time with the blade, or something like that, and he passed out before he could do any more damage.  
  
Lorelai could not believe what had happened. When she saw him there, with the blood on the sheet next to him, her first thought was that something, somehow, had happened to Rory. It never even occurred to her that Jess would do something like that to himself. She had seen the love in his eyes the whole time, but the hope he held- and she knew that there really had been hope in there somewhere- had diminished with Rory's health. Now he was being stitched up, probably being sent for a psychiatric evaluation. That was something she would never have predicted, not it a million years. That boy had always kept his feet on the ground, he did whatever it took to remain true to himself. She figured that's why it took him so long to open up to Rory.  
  
Those walls he kept were protection for himself, for his sanity. God knows that if he didn't have some kind of safety mechanism, there were too many things in his life that could have caused him to 'go off the deep end'. The irony was that the one person he did let into his barrier did finally make him crazy. But then again, she knew that he wasn't crazy, she understood exactly what he was feeling. He didn't have to say anything for her to immediately know what had caused him to do such a stupid thing. She just wished he hadn't succumbed to the ideas that tired, love-sick brains can create.  
  
****  
  
Images flashed before her closed eyes, ones of picnics and coffee trips, of hellos and good-byes. She had gotten used to the random succession of dreams, but everything was beginning to speed up. The flashes of memories became blurs until they were unrecognizable. It made her head hurt, and as she tried to lift her hands to her forehead to soothe some of the pain, she found that her arms wouldn't respond.  
  
Slowly she opened her eyes, but she quickly closed them again when the bright lights invaded her space. She began to come-to a little, and managed to open her eyes once again and take in some of her surroundings. Everything was too bright and blurry for her to make out anything, but she knew that she was lying in a bed and she saw a figure seated on her right. At first she couldn't remember anything, but then she remembered her name, her mom, Luke's, and then suddenly everything flooded back.  
  
There was tension in the air. She had grown accustomed to sensing tension through years at Chilton and Friday night dinners at the grandparents'. But this time the tension was more of worry and concern, this time that tension was focused around her.  
  
Things around her slowly came into focus, and Rory tried to say something when she realized that it was her mother sitting at the edge of her bed. But to her surprise, she couldn't say a word. It was then that she realized that she had a tube down her throat and all kinds of machines hooked up to her body. All she could do was lay there and wait.  
  
Eventually she began to get a tingly feeling in her fingers and with a few more minutes of waiting she was able to twitch her index finger just a little. But that's all she needed to do. Lorelai felt that little twitch in her sleep and woke with a start. At first she thought it was only a dream, but when she looked down at the small hand in her own, she noticed that it moved once more. Once she knew that Rory really was waking up, she knew that she had to get the doctor and she had to keep Rory calm.  
  
L: "Ror, hun, just stay as still as you can. Don't try to talk. You'll be able to do all that soon, but right now you need to stay calm. I'm going to go find your doctor."  
  
Rory laid still in her bed, slowly gaining some control over the rest of her body, as Lorelai ran out of the hospital room frantically searching for a floor nurse or a doctor. Eventually she found someone who sent Dr. Pierce to Rory's room immediately. The doctor was, to say the least, a little surprised at the sudden improvement in Rory's condition, and, after some tests, told Lorelai, Luke, and Rory that she would need some serious physical therapy, but she should be 'okay' after a few more days in the hospital.  
  
Luke didn't know what to think. He had been so happy when Lorelai had found him in the cafeteria and told him that Rory had woken up. But he was also upset because he knew that both of the kids that he cared about as his own children were in the hospital now. He couldn't help thinking that if Jess had only waited a few more hours, he would have had his Rory alive again, and he wouldn't have had to do anything so drastic as to try to take his own life. Luke partly blamed himself for not realizing that Jess had been in so much pain, but he had never been good at that sentimental stuff. At least he hadn't lost Jess for good, and Luke made a promise to himself that when they got home again, he would work to make sure that Jess felt like a part of their "family".  
  
The next day, Rory gets her IV tubes taken out, and gets a little more freedom. She can talk now, and had a good conversation with her mom and Luke where she discovered (even though they didn't tell her) that they were now dating. But even in that happy conversation, she couldn't help feeling that they were keeping something from her. So, when she finally got her chance to get away from their stifling concern for her, she took the opportunity.  
  
Normally, it would have taken her less than five minutes to get to the end of the hall and down to the main lobby, but now it took her much longer just to get to the next door on her hall. She was able to use both of her legs (with the help of crutches), but she felt a lot of pain in her stomach when she walked because of the accident and the surgery. To get her mind off the pain that she felt, she began to think about Jess. She knew that it wasn't the best diversion for her mind, since that topic always seemed to cause her more pain, but this time it seemed different. It was almost like she could feel Jess so strongly around her. But she knew that was crazy.  
  
She looked up, finally bringing herself out of her daze, to find she had walked out of her ward in the hospital into a different area. She didn't know where she was, or how she had gotten there, but she decided that she needed to find her way back. In order to do this, she realized that she would need to find a nurse or an orderly to show her the way. So Rory walked down the hall a little further, looking into each room for someone who might be able to help her. She had almost given up to go find her own way back, when she looked in one last room.  
  
Rory decided that her eyes must be fooling her. There was no way that Jess would be sitting in a hospital room in Columbus Ohio, the same hospital that his ex-girlfriend was also staying in. But she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from that room. She examined the man in the bed closely. He was sitting up, propped against the pillows, but his head was down so she couldn't see his face. Rory noticed that he didn't seem to move, that he was staring at the large bandages on his arm. Just as she was about to leave, finally deciding that she had just mistaken this man for Jess, he looked up and caught her eye. She saw those eyes that had been haunting her dreams for days. But even though those were the same eyes as before, Rory saw something different in them, she saw that he had changed. His eyes now showed emotion, his concrete walls had come down somewhere along the way. She didn't know what had happened to cause such a change in such a stoic personality, but Rory was determined to find out.  
  
As Rory limped towards his door, his facial expression changed only slightly, trying to find a median between happy and sad and relieved and disappointed and angry and loving. His mind couldn't quite comprehend all of these emotions at one time, especially after having gone so long without feeling any emotion at all. So instead, his face just showed an odd, confused look as Rory took the seat beside him.  
  
It was odd how their situations had changed. Only days before, it had been him in the chair, holding her hand. Now she was waiting for him to speak. He didn't know when she had woken up, he didn't know if she knew anything about what happened. He was so relieved that she was awake, that she knew who he was, and glad that she had come to talk to him even though they had so many problems to work out. He knew that something needed to be said, the silence had gone on too long. So he spoke the first words that came to his mind.  
  
J: "You're supposed to hate me."  
  
** AN: Okay, it's kind of a cliffhanger again. But now you know that they are both okay. You can stop hating me for the time-being. I apologize for the weird shift in the story, but I hope you like it. Let me know what you think by reviewing. Good or bad, I can take it. Please review! 


	13. What's Perfect, Anyway?

You're Supposed To Hate Me

Ch12- What's Perfect, Anyway?

AN: Sorry it's been so long, I haven't had any inspiration. I still haven't had any, but I decided to write anyways because otherwise I'll never get this done. I'm sorry if it sucks, but what can you do? Thanks to everyone who has read this far, who had faith in me even after those crazy chapters where I put everything on the line. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, it really makes me feel better about my story. 

**

J: "You're supposed to hate me."

Rory just stared at him. She knew what he meant. She wasn't supposed to chase after him, she was supposed to forget everything that they had. But he wouldn't have been here, here in Columbus Ohio, if he had meant what he said on the phone that night. He might have felt bad that she had been hurt, but he never would have shown up. She looked up at him and caught his eyes again. She just smiled sadly and shook her head. They both knew that there were so many issues to be discussed, but not another word was spoken. There was such a bond between these two young people, the same that had brought them together time and time again, that their relationship was understood without any discussion. 

There was just one thing that Rory didn't understand, but she wouldn't say anything to Jess. She noticed how neither Lorelai nor Luke had said anything about Jess coming back, even though he was in the same hospital. She decided that she would just ask them when she went back to her own room. What Rory didn't know was that Jess was trying to hide the arm that would explain Rory's confusion.

They were so happy at that moment that Jess didn't want to ruin anything by telling the events of the past week. Rory, realizing that her life was back to normal, or as normal as possible, suddenly turned and gave Jess what started out as being a gentle kiss but soon became more passionate. All the love that they shared for each other was poured out into this one kiss. But as Jess put his arms around her, Rory winced slightly at the reminder of her accident. She looked down at the culprits of that awful memory, and for the first time, Rory's brain registered the fact that Jess was hurt and bandaged as well. Things began to make more sense. She didn't know what had happened, but she knew that they were all keeping secrets from her, and she was hurt.

Jess realized his mistake. He never wanted to explain this to her. The most optimistic person in the world would now have to deal with the aftermath of depression in her own life. He looked up but refused to look her directly in the eye. If he had, he would have seen the sorrow, the guilt she was feeling at having caused him pain. She didn't know how she had caused it, but deep down she knew that it was her fault. Somehow he had come to see her, even when she had done exactly what he hadn't wanted her to do, and in the process he had gotten hurt. But Jess didn't see any of this. He was steeling himself from the emotions in the room, per usual, and quickly wiping a few stray tears from his face. Once he had done so, he began to speak, slowly and deliberately, trying his hardest to avoid her eyes so he wouldn't have to see the disappointment. He just kept talking, with no interruptions from a silent Rory who was trying to take it all in. 

J: "It hurt too much to watch you die. You don't know what it's like to just sit there, completely helpless, when someone you care about so much hasn't woken up in over a week. I couldn't take it anymore. I did something that I had promised myself so long ago that I would avoid. I got attached to you, I fell for you. And then I lost you. That's why I was never nice to anyone. Never genuine. Freud would call it a fear of rejection. Maybe he would be right. I had lost everyone I'd ever loved in my life, I would call that justified. But I learned that I loved you despite my past. I saw you slipping away, and in a few moments of complete stupidity, I did something that I thought could make things better somehow. It could never make up for what I did, it could never bring you back to me. And now I know how truly selfish it was. I mean, look, here you are, alive and well, when I could, if not for a little luck, and probably some stubbornness on the part of my body, be dead and buried at this point. If that were the case, I would have caused more hurt to everyone. I hurt you by not being there for you when you woke up. I hurt Luke for not believing enough in what he's done for me. I've hurt too many people along the way. I'm sorry Rory."

And with that, he went silent again, leaving Rory in complete shock. He had never said so much to her in the whole time she had known him, she had never seen him be so open with anyone. She was touched. She didn't know what she could say to make him feel a little less guilty. She reached for his hand and took it in her own. She pulled it so that she could look at his forearm where the large white bandage was taped to his skin. Being as gentle as possible, she lifted the gauze. Jess waited for her to gasp or show some sign of disgust when she saw the scars, so he was completely surprised when she brought her lips to the delicate skin around the cuts.

It was what you do to a five-year-old when they get a paper cut, but it helped a little. Jess slid over a little on the bed and put his other arm around Rory's waist so that she would sit down beside him. As they sat there side by side, Rory curled up against Jess' shoulder, his arm draped across her back, everything seemed right. Things had changed forever, there were bound to be more problems, and more solutions, and there was never a couple who would have to attend more therapy sessions as a result of one crazy teenage disaster. Despite all this, however, Rory and Jess knew that, in the end, things would be okay and they would always have each other. These things were understood in that brief span of time they spent in the hospital bed together before Lorelai and Luke charged in. 

**

AN: Okay this was a short chapter, and I'm not really happy with it. I was actually going to end everything here because the story has gotten out of control. But I think I can still take the story a little further, I want to include more java junkie stuff (because luke and lorelai have been kind of neglected), and I have a few more things to throw in before I tie this all up. So thanks for reading this much, and please please please review, I really need to know what you think. At this point, more than any other, I would really appreciate some advice or some criticism or something about how you think the story's going, where you think I should take it from here, things you like, things you don't. You get the picture. Please review!!


	14. Epilogue Surprise

You're Supposed to Hate Me  
  
Ch 13- Epilogue- Suprise  
  
AN: Okay I'm making a compromise. Many of you wanted me to continue, others thought the last chapter was a good ending. So, I have decided to end the story with the last chapter, but give you an epilogue so you know what happened afterward. So this is officially the end of "You're Supposed to Hate Me". Thank you for reading and reviewing, you all have made me feel so loved these past few months! I may be writing another story soon, we'll see how the muses choose to bless me.  
  
**  
  
Jess was released from the hospital under psychological surveillance after one week. Three days later, Rory was also released. They both had a lot of recovering to do once they got back to Stars Hollow, both physically and emotionally.  
  
Luke and Lorelai took their relationship slowly, relishing in the fact that they still had their families and each other.  
  
Three years Later-  
  
Rory is preparing for her last year at Yale, and Jess is applying for transfer to a few four-year colleges for his junior year. They have been dating almost continuously since they returned home from Ohio. They broke up in the beginning of Rory's sophomore year because she felt that Jess would need space since he was a 'college boy', but they were together again four days later.  
  
We see the two of them in Jess' apartment (he moved out of the diner when he started classes at the community college) sitting quietly reading their own books on his bed. They look happy.  
  
Two years later-  
  
Rory is working far too hard at a low-level reporting job for the local news station in Hartford. After a few extra summer classes, Jess finally had enough credits to graduate from Central Connecticut State University. They are living together in a townhouse just outside Hartford. With some help, Jess bought the perfect diamond ring, he's just waiting for the right time to pop the question.  
  
Luke has been renting the apartment above the diner for some time, as he and Lorelai have been sharing space in the Crap Shack. The Dragonfly is successful, and Luke has considered selling the diner altogether, possibly doing some odd jobs around the Inn so that he could spend more time with Lorelai. She dismisses these ideas, however, complaining about never getting good coffee and being Luke's sugar mama. Luke is still looking for a buyer, despite Lorelai's complaints, but refuses to accept any of Taylor's bids.  
  
Six months later-  
  
Jess finally got the nerve to ask Rory to marry him. He knelt at the edge of their bed holding the ring in his hands, so she woke up to the sight of him proposing. She said yes, of course, after crying a few tears of joy. They made the plans and decided to get married quickly. They are now standing at a makeshift altar in the middle of Washington Square Park in New York, with a small crowd of family, friends, and curious strangers. In his vows, he promised never to do anything as stupid as leaving her again. She promised not to chase him away. As they walk back through the audience at the end of the ceremony, they couldn't help feeling like the luckiest people on earth.  
  
5 years later-  
  
Luke and Lorelai are still together in Stars Hollow, unmarried, to the horror of Emily Gilmore. They have built an addition onto the house for Rory and Jess' visits, which are often. Luke eventually sold the diner to young man, who reminded him a little of himself, and has retired to become Stars Hollow's official handyman.  
  
After four years of hard work, Rory was offered a job at CNN in New York. It wasn't anything great, just an entrance-level position for reporters. But she was on her way to being the next Christiane Amanpour. Jess has done everything imaginable since he graduated- teaching, fast food, writing, working at law firms. He has yet to find his niche, but he's still looking. There are no plans for kids, because they are still young, Jess' parenting skills, or lack thereof, scare him, and Rory worries about how she could raise a family if she is travelling around the world. Despite all the reasons against having children, both agreed, in their hearts, that an unplanned child would be a nice surprise. That's why, tonight, as Rory sets the kitchen table for a nice romantic dinner, she smiles at the new gift she can share with Jess.  
  
**  
  
AN: Okay. This is it. I think that is the weirdest format for an epilogue, but I wanted to show everything that happened in their lives afterward. I'm sorry if it confuses you, I just didn't know how else to do it, I couldn't confine myself to just one time period. I know that the epilogue doesn't have much to do with the rest of the story, but this is how I think all lit stories should end. Haha. Well, I hope you liked the story. Let me know what you thought, please. I need to know what you think of my writing. Thank You!!! 


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